arm slings are the new black

Thursday, March 20, 2008

yes, you read that title right. didn't you hear that slings are the hottest new accessory?

well they are now since i have a hot little black sling currently holding up my right shoulder.

i had a little accident this morning on the ice in my parking lot while cleaning off my car. ironically on the first day of spring, boo. by now you guys are familiar with my parking lot and the crap problems i have there (here and here). but today officially tops the cake.

walking to my car this morning the side walks were a sheet of ice. specifically my parking lot. i almost bit it three times before the "big fall". i was walking around the back of my car on the home stretch of getting in to drive away, when suddenly both of my feet flew out from under me.

i'm not a klutz, i swear.

i feel...


so hard that i completely dislocated my right shoulder.

just imagine how far my feet flew out from under me for me to hit my shoulder instead of my ass. so nuts.

i felt it pop, and though i'm not a doctor, i'm also not an idiot and i just knew it was dislocated. i instantly start sobbing, it was the most excruciating pain that i have ever felt. seriously my arm was being held up by muscles, ligaments and tendons and hanging on the side of my body unable to be moved. my shoulders were lopsided, just like you see in the movies. although i wasn't about to push my arm back in its socket like mel gibson in the lethal weapon movies.

my car was running and i couldn't get to my cellphone that was in my back right jeans pocket. i stopped a nice man in the parking lot and he was lucky enough to fish around in my pockets for my cellphone. he wanted to call 911 for me but my roommate was just around the corner and since she is on a "vacation" she was able to take me to the emergency room.

bird fell twice trying to get to me. seriously thats how bad this parking lot was. there was no salt, no nothing. and there was no excuse for that, people were falling everywhere. it would have been comical if i wasn't in so much pain. i was balling my eyes out, mother f'ing this and mother f'ing that. totally classy.

we made it to the ER and it was awesome because they took me in right away. the staff and doctors at lutheran hospital on west 25th were so awesome to me. the only thing that sucked was that a girl couldn't even get an advil until the doctors checked out my x rays so that meant the longest hour an a half ever full of tears and flat out pain.

when the doctor told me what i already diagnosed myself with the drugs came. thank god. i had visions of doctors pushing and pulling my shoulder till it clicked back in place but it was a total different situation.

they gave me a crap load of muscle relaxers and pain meds so basically i was like a wet noodle. i had to lay on my stomach with my right arm laying off the bed and i had to grip a bag of weights with my hand and basically wait till my arm popped back in socket.

25 minutes later it did just that. nailed it.

i had to wait a bit in recovery till my medicine started to wear off. i kept trying to talk to bird who was so awesome to stay in the room the whole time with me but i was pretty out of it. my mom even drove up from canton to see me. i told her she didn't have to but she didn't listen to me at all. oh well, it ended up be nice that she was there. thanks mommy.

so that was my awesome thursday hope yours was better. i'll be rocking out the sling for a few days but thank god i didn't hurt myself worse.

and by the way, who really dislocates their shoulder other than 80 year old grandparents and football players?



  1. AWWWWW! I'm sorry!! I hope you feel better! You can always get a Gucci sling if you want! They are cute! Hope this doesn't hinder your blogging!!!

  2. I just totally envisioned word for word what you did. Since I did the same thing 2 weeks ago dropped 3fish sandwich dinners and my cell phone which then got eaten up by the snowplow and put in a 6 foot snow bank. I didn't get a sling but I was crying bc I lost my phone!

  3. Please decorate your sling with that fabric paint. THEN you'd be very stylin!

  4. My gosh this all sounds so horrible. I'd be pissed that there was no salt. I'm glad you didn't break anything!

  5. you said:

    "who really dislocates their shoulder other than 80 year old grandparents and football players?"

    In an effort to make you feel more at ease aned normal I will say...

    um, character actors on ER dislocate their shoulders all the time. (did you buy that?)

    Regardless, that's an injury that smarts, yeah?

    I had an odd few weeks of indiscriminate injuries myself.

    check out my blog entry if you like. true story.

    I can also appreciate that you had to "clean your car off" in the first week of spring. That's inherently a northeast thing that only other northeasterners can appreciate.

    Two words: lake effect.

    be well,

  6. I cringed reading that.

    You should ask for vicodin from your Dr for pain relief. It has an amazing power to cure hangovers...

  7. Poor thing!!! Recover swiftly, my dear!

  8. that sucks. i feel your pain. a few years ago i fell on the ice and ended up getting stitches in the back of my head! damn lake effect weater.

  9. Oh, man - I'm just glad you're okay. a fall on the ice could've ended up SO much worse :(

  10. I would have paid money to see that, my prenusring would have kicked in right away!! And then I would have laughed really hard.

  11. I still say you sue network parking. You could definitely settle out of court for some free parking, trust me, I'm in Insurance, ha!
    So sorry you fell and hurt yourself. I have to admit, picturing you and the weight kind of made me vomit a little. Feel better!

  12. Oh my gosh. That lot sounds ridiculous.

    I'm so sorry you got hurt :(

  13. you guys are all awesome thanks for the concern. i'm lucky it was just dislocated. stupid weather!

    maxie - if this sucker was going to be on any longer than a week this shit would have been covered hot pink and green puffy paint.

  14. Oh my god. And I thought having some little bastard kid draw on my sweet leased black car with a red crayon was bad. Your first day of spring blows mine out of the water.


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