yes, you read that title right. didn't you hear that slings are the hottest new accessory?
well they are now since i have a hot little black sling currently holding up my right shoulder.
i had a little accident this morning on the ice in my parking lot while cleaning off my car. ironically on the first day of spring, boo. by now you guys are familiar with my parking lot and the crap problems i have there (here and here). but today officially tops the cake.
walking to my car this morning the side walks were a sheet of ice. specifically my parking lot. i almost bit it three times before the "big fall". i was walking around the back of my car on the home stretch of getting in to drive away, when suddenly both of my feet flew out from under me.
i'm not a klutz, i swear.
so hard that i completely dislocated my right shoulder.
just imagine how far my feet flew out from under me for me to hit my shoulder instead of my ass. so nuts.
i felt it pop, and though i'm not a doctor, i'm also not an idiot and i just knew it was dislocated. i instantly start sobbing, it was the most excruciating pain that i have ever felt. seriously my arm was being held up by muscles, ligaments and tendons and hanging on the side of my body unable to be moved. my shoulders were lopsided, just like you see in the movies. although i wasn't about to push my arm back in its socket like mel gibson in the lethal weapon movies.
my car was running and i couldn't get to my cellphone that was in my back right jeans pocket. i stopped a nice man in the parking lot and he was lucky enough to fish around in my pockets for my cellphone. he wanted to call 911 for me but my roommate was just around the corner and since she is on a "vacation" she was able to take me to the emergency room.
bird fell twice trying to get to me. seriously thats how bad this parking lot was. there was no salt, no nothing. and there was no excuse for that, people were falling everywhere. it would have been comical if i wasn't in so much pain. i was balling my eyes out, mother f'ing this and mother f'ing that. totally classy.
we made it to the ER and it was awesome because they took me in right away. the staff and doctors at lutheran hospital on west 25th were so awesome to me. the only thing that sucked was that a girl couldn't even get an advil until the doctors checked out my x rays so that meant the longest hour an a half ever full of tears and flat out pain.
when the doctor told me what i already diagnosed myself with the drugs came. thank god. i had visions of doctors pushing and pulling my shoulder till it clicked back in place but it was a total different situation.
they gave me a crap load of muscle relaxers and pain meds so basically i was like a wet noodle. i had to lay on my stomach with my right arm laying off the bed and i had to grip a bag of weights with my hand and basically wait till my arm popped back in socket.
25 minutes later it did just that. nailed it.
i had to wait a bit in recovery till my medicine started to wear off. i kept trying to talk to bird who was so awesome to stay in the room the whole time with me but i was pretty out of it. my mom even drove up from canton to see me. i told her she didn't have to but she didn't listen to me at all. oh well, it ended up be nice that she was there. thanks mommy.
so that was my awesome thursday hope yours was better. i'll be rocking out the sling for a few days but thank god i didn't hurt myself worse.
and by the way, who really dislocates their shoulder other than 80 year old grandparents and football players?