pointing and laughing is good right?

Friday, August 15, 2008

wednesday night some of my coworkers and i, (constance, misty and k$) all headed to progressive field for the indians game.

yes, they lost…

again. as you can tell from this pic to the right, i'm all sorts of distraught.

but i like to think of them in happier times, like last year.

it was a beautiful sunday-funday afternoon when the indians clinched the central division title in 2007. my friends and i were out in full force because not only was there an important indians game going on but it was the warehouse district street festival. (which is august 24th this year if anyone is interested in going!)

after consuming several adult beverage throughout the day, my group had all congregated at the blind pig to watch the end of the indians game.

we all know what happened in the end, they won.

so during the post game interviews we hear ryan garko saying that he is heading to liquid for the “afterparty” – muffin and my ears immediately perk up because we are only two bars down from liquid.

we decided to move the party to the patio and see if any of the players walk by.

low and behold garko and josh barfield stroll down w 9th and i obviously yell, “hi ryan garko!” he waves, blows me a kiss and tells me to call him. i may have made that last part up...

regardless we know that the player are in our neighborhood and we must find them.

without any hesitation muffin, court and i gather our things and head to liquid – too bad no one was at liquid. the players and their entourages were in a private section at fusion (it’s connected to liquid).

that’s fine, we can wait.

we belly up to the bar at liquid with about only 10 others. an adult beverage or two later the manager of the bar comes up muffin, court and I and let’s us know that they are going to open up ultra (the downstairs bar) for the indians players and their friends and if we were good and didn’t make a big scene we were invited to the party.

thankyouverymuchliquidmanagermanimgladallofthemoneyihavespentatyour
establishmenthasfinallypaidoffwepromisenottofreakoutandmakeasceneandask
forautographswewillplaycool – PROMISE

iwhip out the lip gloss and try to purty myself up for the players. i look in my compact and shutter, realizing that i have been drinking all day and it was now approaching 8pm. oh well – bartender!

we had to wait till all the players went downstairs before we could enter. ugh, do they not know who I am? Whatever.

so once we got down to ultra we boogie-oogie-oogied and i made some small talk with the players.

things i noticed:
--asdrubal cabrera is very nice but wouldn’t tell me why he never took his necklace off.

--CC sabathia is ridiculously tall yet the jersey he had on literally came to his knees, it was like a dress and it was weird – he also was spilling champagne all over the place

--kenny lofton was an ASSHOLE! so not cool he totally fell of the pedestal I had him on back in the 90’s

--casey blake is very very handsome

--ryan garko is someone would i would be friends with if he wasn't a pro baseball player, so normal and laid back - he bummed a cigarette from me

where was grady you may ask? well grady sizemore deserves a bit more than a bullet point. because well i did what i do best in front of him, i made an ass of myself.

grady was in a roped off area at ultra and of course court, muffin and i were dancing as close to him as possible. remember up there where i said CC was spilling champagne all the floor? well as i was busting out my best version of sexy time dancing, my feet came out from under me and i fell flat on my butt. hard.

like my skirt was soaking wet with CC’s champagne.

grady stopped his conversation with his cute blonde of the hour and literally pointed and laughed at me. is pointing and laughing code word for wanting to make out?

didn’t think so.

my indians party needed to end on that high note. i left ultra in a blaze of glory and with a brain swimming with memories.

this stuff only happens to me. can i get some video cameras to follow me around please?

27 comments:

  1. BY FAR one of the best nights of my life! You also left out the part about me saying "Great game C.C.!", putting up the hand for the high five and being completely and utterly dissed. HE LOOKED RIGHT AT ME and then turned and walked away. DENIIIIIIIIIIIIED!

    Whatever, Colonel Carb.

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  2. Wow! You got pointed and laughed at by Grady Sizemore! Shoulda punched him.

    As a White Sox fan, I hate that guy.

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  3. i use to love kenny lofton. back when i thought baseball was fun to watch. he was the best base stealer! he made it exciting. You should get a camera and become an internet star. You could have your own show one day. Dream big! If you do this, I deserve some sort of a kickback for publicly suggesting it. Even though, you don't know me.

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  4. I am 100% jealous! I saw Hafner at Liquid once but that is the best story I have.

    BTW - I am pretty sure Droobs doesn't take off that necklace because it has to do with his wife.

    And I am growing my beard in a "Bring the Beard Back to Cleveland" campaign to get the Indians to sign Casey Blake this offseason.

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  5. you are my hero. i fall down all the time and make an ass of myself, but never in front of the tribe.

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  6. Oooh, you must have caught Kenny on a bad night. He is SOOO nice in person (and I know from a personal level -- he and my sis are friends).

    I love partying with baseball players. They know how to have a good time.

    BTW, did Garko let you touch his butt? I would have been in heaven.

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  7. Thats too bad...I always liked Lofton...

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  8. YOU are seriously ridiculous. How is it that you're always falling on the effin ground? At least you got to meet OTHER famous people. :-)

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  9. If you bring those cameras to Chicago, you best make sure they fuzz out my face. My career would be in the shitter if anyone found out what I do in my free time. :-)

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  10. i'd request the surveillance video from ultra and post it on your blog. you know they have it and i know you want it.

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  11. Hi there. I'm meeting you tomorrow at "the brunch"...so naturally I'm snooping beforehand. I LOVE THIS STORY. My fiance is from Aurora, OH (teensy truckstop town outside of Cleveland), so we follow the Indians religiously. Sooooooo sad to hear that Grady pointed and laughed. I think less of him now. See you tomorrow.

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  12. The only indians player I could recognize would be Grady becaue of that one-time-I-made-out-with-him blah blah blah.


    OK, not really, but it was almost a good story.

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  13. Narm- you are correct, Asdrubal does not take off that necklace because his wife (Lismar) made it for him.

    As far as Ryan Garko I am the only who thinks that he looks like Mark Ruffalo ,albeit a bigger version of him (Yes I know you could say I have man crush on him but I don't, I used to have one on Sasha but that dumbass had to go and holdout)

    Jose

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  14. Seriously how do you always hang with these peeps?

    Do you own the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

    Are you joan Jett?!!?

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  15. Great story :)

    Makes me even more excited to go to Tuesday evening's Tribe game*

    -Kelly

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  16. damn that sucks...i would have been mortified and played the incident over and over in my head for 9 weeks. under most circumstances amognst friends, pointing and laughing (at your friends, not strangers) is perfectly acceptable behavior. bu that guys an ass. he should have helped you up. or asked if you were okay. or ignored it. or laughed discreetly to himself.

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  17. LOL! I appreciate the fact you can laugh at yourself. This is something I would totally do, but not in front of celebrities...because I don't know any.

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  18. wtf! how do you hang with so many celebs!? i need to learn so that i can become close personal friends with all the ny giants, RIGHTNOW.

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  19. I really find some of your stories to sound a bit exaggerated. No offense Lex but you are not some hot "babe" not to mention a bit fat, good stories though :)

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  20. hey anonymous - thanks for stating the obvious! keep reading!! : )

    oh and i hope you get crabs.

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  21. You have the most fabulous stories about meeting famous people/athletes. Sounds like an incredible evening!

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  22. Ah... winning the AL Central is always fun. 2006 was probably the most exciting win for the Twins. Beating out Detroit in the last game of the season (thanks to the Royals).

    I bet if I were in a similar situation as you were where I got to hang out with Twins players I would probably end up making myself look like an idiot in front of them. My luck tends to go that way.

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  23. I was literally laughing out loud at your description of that day/night. So mad I didn't come with you guys!!!! I would let Grady laugh at me any day! Hahaha!

    P.S. Who is anonymous? What a douche!

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