i hope you have a strong stomach

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

it's 9:15pm and i haven't even opened my reader - i also just got home from work.

let's just say i've been a bit busy.

i'm also eating ice cream for dinner, whatever.

i spent the day today in columbus for a work meeting and while myself, my coworker salami rose and my client (hi heather!) were eating lunch at champp's i had an interesting flashback.

around this time last year the beav and i were enjoying a hungover lunch at the champp's in crocker park. i ordered the pulled pork sandwich because, like michael symon, i also love pork.

so i'm diggin' in, cause that's what you do to a pulled pork sandwich. at about my forth bite in i chomp down on a piece of metal. yup, metal.

it was actually a curly piece of metal. one could call it metal pubes.

in reality it was a piece of industrial steel wool, awesome! obviously i informed the manager and my sammich was comped, but beav's meal should have been comped too - there was metal in my pork!!

i think i was too tired to put up a fight.

think that's bad, i actually have ANOTHER gross restaurant story to tell you all and this one is even more ridiculous. i mean could see a random object in my food at a sloppy national chain but not at a wolfgang puck restaurant!

yes, i said wolfgang puck.

on a visit to LA when i was in high school my family, some friends and i were dining at wolfgang puck's new restaurant (at the time) spago in beverly hills. the drinks were a flowing for my mom and her friends - my sissy and i being under aged, focused on the bread.

so i'm ready to enjoy my warm roll - when i bite in though i bite into something that i can't tear through. it's not hard but it's chewy. i actually thought it was a caramelized onion skin, but it wasn't.

it was, wait for it.... a BAND-AID!!!!!

yes, there was a USED band-aid in my dinner roll. apparently someone was kneading the dough and their band-aid fell off their finger and got cooked into the bread. obviously again we told the manager, showed them the evidence - they gave us some BS like the bread is cooked off site and it wasn't their fault. they gave us 8 free desserts (the amount of people in our party) but that's it. again, there was a band-aid in our roll, hook a table up!

anyone else have a crazy restaurant food incident like me?


  1. in college, my friends and i headed to (insert name of fancy cameron mitchell restaurant here), which we could not afford, but decided to get all dolled up and roll with the big girls anyway. we ordered appetizers and drinks and pretended we were awesome...until my friend found a hair in her oysters rockefeller. they comped all of our drinks and food and let us order more stuff based on the fact that 'that sort of thing should not happen in this caliber or a restaurant.'

    so yeah. thanks for that CM.

    oh- and i love you a.m.!

  2. i dont have anything that has happened to me, but seeing how i am a server, i could rattle off quite a few examples of things i have seen happen to people.

    flies that have fallen in bottles of wine and were too drunk to fall out, roaches in salad, spoiled cheesecake, etc. most of these occurrences at the pseudo fine dining gig i have now. but what is more interesting is the things people do to try and get free stuff.

    there was a table that another server had that drink 2 bottles of wine,(140 dollars a pop, mind you) and after wards said it was not what they ordered. and they wanted both bottles for free. yet both bottles were gone. seriously, ya didnt notice it was the wrong bottle during the first or second presentation?

  3. Man, most people go their whole lives without experiencing even ONE of those situations.

    Twice? Lucky you.

  4. Ew ew ew.
    All my nasty food inclusions have apparently been well baked enough for me not to notice.

  5. okay...the metal wouldn't have grossed me out....but a bandaid, i seriously almost tossed my granola reading that.

    i don't have any stories really except for the occasional hair (which oddly enough, doesn't bother me, i just pull it out and ask for a free meal). but my sister was telling me about how she was at a waffle house (i know, i know) and her friend had a chunk of raw bacon floating in his dr. pepper.

    stories involving food from the grocery store, i have many. like the one time i poured my honey bunches of oats and milk into a bowl, took a bite, then upon closer inspection noticed the cereal should have been named honey bunches of larvae.

  6. Oh MAN that's friggin' disgusting! Blaaah

  7. At Nighttown my friends and I ordered the calamari and there was a piece of curly metal that I was fortunate enough to bite down on, somewhat cutting up my mouth. It was a piece of metal from the fryer basket. I think they only comped the calamari. Then at That Place on Bellflower, there was a candy wrapper in my salad. I have good luck in Cleveland restaurants!

  8. Muffin, my mom and I were at Bricco before going to see Mamma Mia (all dressed up, *wink*) and there was a shard of glass in my Caprese Salad! They comped our food...

  9. Cockroach in my friend's food at a very nice Chinese restaurant. When we complained, they looked at the three of us like we were nuts and brought the check, to which we said 'you have got to be kidding????' We told them that we weren't paying for anything to which he said, "But the cockroach was only in her (my friend's)food.........I said, 'I probably already ate mine' and we got up and left! I have always disliked Chinese food and that just totally clinched it!

  10. euuuuuuuw! the band aid was a little disgusting!

    aside from the occasional hair, luckily i havnt had any disgusting incidents

  11. My husband Mark, when he was maybe 10 or so, used to pull a hair out of his OWN head and put it in the food when he didn't like what he ordered so he could complain and get the meal for free. I was at first appalled when hearing that, but then was pretty impressed at how clever he was at such a young age. I am just so proud! Ha! :)

  12. Heinen's used to make homeade rice and raisin pudding back in the day -- which was my fave when I was little, until. . .

    One day when I innocently discovered a goopy, dark, coarse, curly hair -- I was scarred for life. . .however, that "metal pube" you speak of sounds just as scary!


  13. Maybe if you would have found the whole finger you would have gotten 10% off...

    That's crazy - Puck can afford to give away a free meal now and again!

    I have lots of stories, having worked at a Mexican restaurant in college - but I'll spare you the details.

  14. Oh, ew. I don't think free dessert is enough to cover a band-aid in food.

    I once had a cockroach in my salad at a take-out place. It was pretty damn horrifying.

  15. Good lord that's fucking nasty. I can't believe you lived through the band-aid incident.

  16. I work in a restaurant a few nights a week (soon to be NONE) and last night, I noticed that one of the guys in the kitchen had a band-aid on. I immediately think about this after reading your post. It's probably very easy to lose things like this in the food -- band-aids, steel wool, you know....BUT I have never seen it happen myself, and I can hardly believe that it happened at some fancy shmancy LA restaurant (Spago is supposed to be a good place). People have got to be very careless to let things like this happen.

    Frankly, it's disgusting. And it makes me never want to eat in a restaurant again (which I actually think about quite often).

  17. my cousin and i once ate ashtray-sand burgers at a cedar pointe area mcdonalds. i got 20 free nuggets and he only got a free refill on his chocolate shake. we could be millionaires.

  18. Funny you call it that.

    I actually really do call steel wool "Alien pubes".


    I'm 9.

  19. My dad once was eating a piece of Zeppe's Pizza and bite into a molar, yes a tooth. So gross and all they gave us was a certificate for a new pizza. That was the last time we order Zeppe's.

  20. I'm just throwing this out there--ice cream can always be eaten for dinner. And lunch. And breakfast.


  21. I just threw up a little in my mouth. Thanks.

    I found a large piece of plastic wrap in my salad once. We were at a fancy restaurant and all they gave me was a free hot chocolate. There wasn't even alcohol in the hot chocolate. It was total bullshit.

  22. So disgusting. Seriously. Eiwww. I haven't had anything worse than a couple random (non-pube) hairs here and there. And I try not to think about it. If you've ever read Kitchen Confidential, then you'll understand how gross restaurants really are. And at the end of the day, our bodies can generally tolerate all that is gross.

  23. One time I bought a Big Mac and Emmanuelle Lewis was in there.

    I was kind of shocked thats where he went after Webster ended.

  24. That is f-ing disgusting! I hope you got your meal comped, because just reading that made my puke in my mouth.
    The worst thing i ever had was hair in my beef and snow peas. I haven't been able to stomach Chinese food since then.

  25. Gosh that is so disgusting!!! I've never had anything like that happened to me. The only thing I've found on my food is hair. I guess that's a regular though!

  26. My mom found a finger tip in her salad once...I about threw up when she showed it to me.
    I carefully inspect my food...always...and I hope that I never find a finger or limb or BANDAID in my food. Sick.
    I'm suddenly not hungry anymore...

  27. nassssty!

    we'll go from the least gross to the worst...

    A few weeks ago I was eating at my favorite restaurant in my town and I found a piece of glass in my food. They comped my meal b/c they are awesome.

    I used to work at a restaurant and this lady came in twice and found a hair in her food BOTH TIMES. Seriously. What are the chances? I'm still wondering whether she planted the stuff.

    And lastly, my boss found maggots in his KFC. GROSS!!!

  28. OMG that is awful, like I'm actually cringing. That's just so horrible. So horrible.

  29. I was eating some frozen spinach - thawed in the microwave - for lunch while in college and found a ROACH in my spinach! I threw up several times and then started crying it grossed me out so much!

    That is why I never buy frozen spinach anymore. I am traumatized.

    Have SOOO much fun in Toronto!!!!

  30. Thats gross.

    and I think its perfectly fine to have ice cream for dinner.

    any day.

  31. I have never had anything like that happen to me, but thinking about it makes my stomach turn a little bit.


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