the art of the guy friend

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

this past thursday while out watching the browns game on west 6th i was sitting in between the klutz and the jerk when a very drunken boy came up to me all douchebaggy like hugging on me and tell me i smelled good. blah blah blah.

i look at the jerk (one of my good guy friends) for help. i shot him "the look" - the one that says you better pretend to be my boyfriend right now to get this guy away from me look. and what does he do? he GETS UP and leaves me!

i wanted to murder him. but he insists that he was trying to do me a favor. um, no.

so after i got rid of the drunk douchbaggy boy i promptly gave the jerk a nice lecture saying he committed a huge FAIL in the world of being a guy friend. causing a whole conversation about what he is "supposed" to do in situations like that. i.e. save me!

which turned into me writing a full out pro and con list of being a single girl with many many guy friends according to me.

pro: you can always call a guy friend up to move heavy furniture
con: they will expect you to cook them dinner as payment

pro: guy friends are always up for watching sports or going out on a random week night
con: the boys at the bar will think you are dating him and are in turn unavailable

pro: you can be yourself around them because you're not looking to hook up
con: because you are being yourself (obviously awesome) the boy could fall for you
--the above pro and con goes boy/girl and girl/boy

pro: your guy friend, if single can mingle with all your single girlfriends
con: if it doesn't work out you have two potentially angry friends to deal with

pro: said guy friend can scare away jerky/bad boys
con: said guy friend can scare away perfectly nice cute rich boys

pro: boys like to gossip just as much as girls do
con: there isn't a con, who doesn't like good fun conversation?

pro: it's good to have a confidant that's the opposite sex for a different perspective
con: boys generally don't like to listen to girl's bullshit

pro: gay best friends are ideal
con: you must remember that you will NEVER turn them straight

pro: can turn into friends with benefits
con: can turn into friends with benefits

with all this being, said pros and cons aside - i wouldn't trade any of my guy friends in. the pros definitely out weigh the cons.

have any pros/cons i should add to my list?

38 comments:

  1. CON - Your gay friend can end up questioning his sexuality and move more towards just being "open" and totally complicate your relationship in an equally awesome and messy way.

    What?

    I haven't always been married, that just happened last month!

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  2. great list, yup I agree. have many guy friends and reading this I was nodding along going yep, yep on each point

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  3. I'm giving shocked looks at Kyla right now.

    WHAT?!

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  4. YES.

    kyla bea. YES! YOU GIVE ME HOPE!!!

    hey ben... wanna make out?

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  5. oh I guess I should comment on the actual post.

    Alexa... you need to stop friending so many boys and start making out with more of them. you need to get coupled up so you stop trying to steal MY men. hahaha

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  6. pro: you can be yourself around them because you're not looking to hook up
    con: because you are being yourself (obviously awesome) the boy could fall for you

    THIS happens way too often!

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  7. I think all your pros and cons are pretty dead on.

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  8. um, you failed to mention that the dude was a faux-perez hilton. with a faux-hawk. that's probably why the "jerk" walked away, he know it would be good post fodder...

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  9. jesse you are on crack. he was so not perez hilton-esque! if he was i would have made him my best friend.

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  10. i always wondered when i was going out with my brother a lot, if thats why no one ever hit on me.

    Of course that's it. Who wouldn't want to meet such a lovely lady? Right?!

    I lost all my guy friends in high school. Due to setting them up with girlfriends, which turned sour. Boys dont have that rule girls have about not being friends with the ex.

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  11. "pro: you can be yourself around them because you're not looking to hook up"

    con: they can be themselves around you, disgusting habits and all.

    Still, I have amazing male friends, habits and all.

    Good list!

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  12. Your list of pros and cons cracked me up. But, this post is why I always defer to girlfriends. Guys just walk away from you and the douchebag. Girls punch the douchebag in the nuts and then walk away. Minor, but significant difference.

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  13. Love the list!!

    And just like everyone else...I agree most with:

    pro: you can be yourself around them because you're not looking to hook up
    con: because you are being yourself (obviously awesome) the boy could fall for you

    Always happens....but of course you do not like them when they like you...then the friend eventually gets a girlfriend and you think to yourself...shit....I totally passed up a good guy!!

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  14. Why was the friend with benefits thing a con?

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  15. Pro: You end up sleeping with them
    Con: You end up sleeping with them

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  16. Pro: Sometimes you end up with them. :)

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  17. HAAAAA i love it.

    con: you have to hear men talk about women the way they REALLY talk about women. like "maybe if she lost 10 lbs i'll make out with her next time" talk. squick.

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  18. How about the con for the guy friend?

    Con: Every girl thinks you are dating your friend thats a girl.

    Girls- Getting in the way since 1980.

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  19. If you have a significant other..

    pro: guy friend can help you out with situtations in a relationship.

    con: SO can get really jealous if you're going to another guy for help.

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  20. pro: gets you tickets to the Browns game

    con: steals your husband away for "guys nights" at every turn leaving you annoyed...

    but that leads to a pro: more time to hang out with your favorite plum!

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  21. pro: gets you tickets to the Browns game

    con: steals your husband away for "guys nights" at every turn leaving you annoyed...

    but that leads to a pro: more time to hang out with your favorite plum!

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  22. I'm glad the pros outweigh the cons! Since gossiping doesn't have a con to go along with it...

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  23. i couldn't agree more with your list, haha. i have experienced most of those pros and cons first hand, haha.

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  24. OMG that is dead on. I've encountered many of these with my man friend. Some take beer as a bribe and some take me doing errands with them.

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  25. This was awesome! I definitely agree with the friends with benefits one possibly being a con. When that happens.. and you realize it IS a con, you end up fake sleeping in the same bed to avoid talking to him. Ugh.

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  26. Pro: You can discuss problems with your guy with them.
    Con: They may misinterpret this as you wanting to have an affair with them.

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  27. you pretty much hit the nail on the head!

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  28. PRO: Guy friends are protective in the loving, "I'll look out for you", big brother way

    CON: When they feel the potential threat of a serious relationship, guy friends quickly become protective in the jealous, "I don't want to lose you", more than big brother way

    *sigh*

    -Kelly

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  29. what did the jerk say that this so called "favor" was that he was doing for you by getting up?!

    i agree with all of these, damn good ones!

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  30. i cant believe the jerk would do such a thing- i will have a serious talk with him to make sure he is a good pretend boyfriend from now on haha- btw this post is dead on haha and i totally use my guy friends as creepy guy blockers too!

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  31. I miss my gay guy friend now. *Sniffle*

    Although he never really helped with the whole creepy guy blocking thing.

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  32. Pro: You've always got someone to bring to those date functions that you don't want to get a real date for.

    Con: They don't always know they are the non-date date.

    Alternate con: They already have dates of their own, thus breaking the "we'll go as friends" pact.

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  33. ah, i love this.

    it's offish, once again: you rock.

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  34. I would add this again, for emphasis:

    pro: can turn into friends with benefits
    con: can turn into friends with benefits


    Great post!

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  35. See if you're oblivious such as I am you never actually realize that your guy friend has feelings for you until he drunkenly tells you like 2 years later when he's in a relationship! haha!

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