rip gap

Thursday, January 31, 2008

my name is alexa, and i was a gap girl.

gap
was my first job at the age of 16 and i continued working there on and off till i was 21. i put quite a bit of time into folding those clothes, (obviously i was a denim expert). actually i was so good at my job that one of my former managers offered me an assistant manager position at the flagship store in san francisco after i graduated college. man would my life have been different if i took that position! but i digress, the point is, i spent a lot of time with the gap and upon hearing that my store was closing i was sad.

i asked myself, how does the gap close? there is supposed to be a gap in every mall in america! how can the belden village mall ( in canton ohio) not have the volume to sustain a gap? is it the mall or the brand? go ahead and marinade on that one for a while...

my mom (stepho), sent me a picture of my old store from her camera phone. by the way mom, i am VERY impressed that you send me a picture text. you are officially out of the stone age.


so gap #3603 i will miss you... along with your jeans, button downs, pique polo shirts, puffy vests, 3 for $9 socks, velvet holiday wear and favorite tees.

so i woke up on the wrong side of the bed

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

waking up on the wrong side of the bed is the only way that i can possibly explain the kind of morning that i had today. ironically though, it is only logistically possible for me to get out of bed on one side due to the fact that the other side is against a wall. there goes that theory.

it is cold in cleveland today. like really cold. i had to semi dress up today at work because wool man and i were going to an AAF event, and wearing a dress and tights wasn't exactly temperature appropriate. so i get to my car at 8:30am (i park outside), and i go to open my door and it was frozen. awesome. i try to open any door and no dice. i go to the parking attendant to see if she has a deicer, nope nada. i'm banging, hitting and basically kicking my car im so angry. i finally get my passenger side back door open. i realize that my only option is to climb through to the front seat, turn my car on and hopefully warm it up. i do just that (keep in mind, dress and heels, 13 degrees out), i wait a minute or two and try to open my car door again. nothing.

it has been about 20 minutes now and i was about to be late for work so i climbed through the back seat again to get in the drivers seat (i think i also flashed a few people). i drive to the gate to get out of my parking lot and since i couldn't open my door, let alone my window i couldn't swipe my key card to get out of the lot. the attendant didn't understand what my issue was and i basically had to sign my card number to her. the gate also decided to break so she had to get out and manually lift it up. annoying.

have i forgotten to mention that the whole time i'm in my car it is beeping like the door is open and won't stop. at this point i'm ready to break the window with my fist. the gate is opened and i head down st. clair (obviously avoiding the bus lanes), i decide that i was going to stop at motorcars on my way to see if they have a deicer so i can get out of my car. the garage door opens to get into the service center and there is quite a bit of confusion because they don't understand why i am there, and i'm just yelling through my car window. i tell the dude that my back passenger side door can open and to try that. finally, we can communicate.

it takes 3 people to pry my door open from the ice. i told you it was cold! i'm so excited that i have my door open. i get back on the road towards my office. i pull in and accidentally hit the car next to mine with my car door. fu*k! i yell, right as i see ziggy walking towards the office building. i get out of my car and look at him and say, "i have had the worst f'ing morning", and close my car door... (no it's not over)

the window in my car door breaks. no joke. i can't even say anything to ziggy. i just hand him my laptop and tell him to let our boss know i was going to be even later. i drive
BACK to the motorcars service station and when the garage door opens they guys all start to laugh. basically what happened was the little feet that holds a car window got off track.

i go to pick up my now fixed car later in the afternoon and it was $155 bucks to fix it. at least i got a car wash out of it.

the rest of the day got better, the AAF event went well. wool man and i went to great lakes brewery and had a couple of delicious newly tapped alberta clipper pints (chocolate and raspberry stout with a kick). then i met MOB at aladdin's in lakewood for dinner which included glorious hummos and rolled pitas.

for what started out as a real crappy morning turned out to be just fine. i'll just throughly enjoy my $155 car wash.

poo poo has a bachlorette party - part fart

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

so i woke up on the couch... (see part one). still rocking it out in EVL.

it was 7:30 am and i was still in my clothes from the night before, somehow i had taken my contacts out. jilly was on the couch across from me and no one else had even stirred. i have this problem on the weekends that i can't sleep in. my body is so used to getting up early during the week that i always get up early no matter what time i go to bed.

poo poo has this same problem. she comes stumbling down the stairs hearing jilly and i talking and suggests us going to get breakfast at dj's this place she went to all the time when she was young and spending her weekends in EVL with her family. the three of us pull ourselves together and get breakfast while everyone else was still sleeping. when we get back, everyone is still sleeping and i begin to feel like crap.

as i have gotten older i have realized that i can still hang like a champ when it comes to going out, but i can't hang for more than one night in a row. i was completely wiped out all day saturday, but this was a bachlorette party and i needed to buck up.

the morning was fun. everyone just sat around and ate bagels and an egg bake that nor-ah made, we all just caught up, gossiped and laughed. now because it was just a group of girls who have known each other for awhile with no boys present we were let it all hangout. burping, farting and just generally being pretty crass. everyones parents and significant others would have been so proud.

eventually the group decided to get moving. we were in a cute little ski town and there were shops and bars to be taken advantage of. have i mentioned yet that no one skied? (hysterical!) i find it somehow fitting. who goes to a ski house and doesn't ski? we do. since there we so many of us we split up a bit. i went with poo poo, nor-ah, raz and georgia peach to the ellicottville brewery for a bite to eat and more importantly some killer bloody mary's. i started to feel better after the bloody mary, gotta love that hair of the dog. we went to a few shops, then met up with the rest of he girls at the gin mill for some 007's. around this time we decided that it was pretty pathetic that we haven't done anything outdoors and that tubing was great idea.

six of us went home to get our snow gear on. while the rest decided to head home and rest up for the night, the giff and jilly decided to stay at the bar and get blacked out, such the lushes. tubing was actually a lot of fun. you and your tube get attached to a tow line and when you get to the top you race on down in a specific lane. i liked going down face first while some of the girls wussed out and kept their butts in the tube. we only went down the hill three times because as fun as it was, once you did it twice the thrill was gone and you just wanted the hill to be longer, (that's what she said).

we re-grouped at the house showered up and got ready for dinner. poo poo's mom was very generous and took care of the dinner that we had catered to the house. it was a thanksgiving extravaganza meal. we got SOOOOO much food, but we also had a lot of wine. i was still feeling like poop from the night before so the wine was helping, yet i still had no color in my face. thankfully the beav felt fine and was hands down the best entertainment one could ask for all wrapped up in a little game we call, celebrities.

celebrities for those of you that don't know is a simple game where two teams compete against each other for points. each person writes down 5 "celebrities" or common known characters dead or alive on separate pieces of paper. they are tossed together in a bowl and there are three rounds. the first round is kinda like taboo you just describe the celebrity and your team has to guess it. the second round your team has to guess the celebrity with only a one word clue (you start you remember what celebrities are in the bowl by the second round so it gets easier). by the 3rd round you are only allowed to act the celebrity out like charades. that is tough one. like how do out act out joel mchale?? by the way my team (the pink beavers) won!

the beav was the emcee of the game and she was on her "A game" to say the least. she definitely wins the mvp award, (after poo poo of course cause she was the bachlorette). but if you take away the mass amount of farts that the beav was letting loose she was a dainty flower, specifically while doing her kerri strug impersonation. the beav is known for acting out kerri strug's 1992 olympic balance beam routine on impulse and it was brought out quite a few times over the weekend. i'm so mad at myself that i erased the video of her doing the routine from my camera! instead i have found the actual routine on you tube. so to my friends that were in EVL, please check out the following video and rate beav's version.



i think the beav nailed it!

even though EVL weekend wasn't your typical bachlorette party there was so much fun and laughter. the most important thing was that poo poo was happy. the weekend destination was her idea and she was pretty much glowing throughout the whole thing. i don't think she would have changed a thing.

now me on the other hand... get ready ladies, whenever i get married we are going straight to mackinac island!!

poo poo has a bachlorette party - part one

Monday, January 28, 2008

hold on, let me get out my notes. yes, notes. while in ellicottville, new york (which i will from this point on call EVL) this past weekend, i thought it was important for me to take notes to document er, remember everything that happened so that i could in turn blog about it. feel free to call me a nerd at anytime.

to start off i'm going to get a little mushy. i seriously love my friends. it is such a great comfort to know that for a whole weekend we can all get together and just have a good time. so much so that my stomach is still sore from laughing. it doesn't matter if i haven't seen some of the girls in a few months it all goes right back to when we sp
ent all of our time sitting on a porch in UD's ghetto, to when we biked under the influence on mackinac island, broke into rudy's or dancing our butts off at all of the weddings we have had in the last couple of years. it's such a good feeling, and we are all very blessed to have each other. ok i'm done. on to the debauchery...

the georgia peach and i drove together to EVL (a not so sleepy ski tow
n). i had a half day at work and she's a teacher so we left when she was done (obviously later than we had expected, i like to call it greek time). the drive to EVL is short and sweet just over 3 hours from downtown. the fact of the short distance and the georgia peach's garmin made the trip very pleasant. i am currently obsessed with the garmin. i seriously watched the screen like i was watching a tv the entire trip. this thing is so smart! it even knew when the friggin sun went down and automatically switched to night vision. it kinda creeped me out when it did that though. regardless, if i drove more i would totally invest in one. lots of singing and eating a bag of andy capp's hot fries later we made it to our house in EVL.

ironically the house we rented was the original methodist church in EVL. kinda creepy that a whole gaggle of sinners were about to make it their home for the weekend.

apparently poo poo is really popular because anyone who is anyone made it to her bachlorette party (although we did miss big pete). here's
the cast and crew: myself (obvy), poo poo (double obvy), the beav (maid of honor and hostess with the mostess), muffin, MOB, foxxy, nor-ah, holla!, mistiburr, tigger, shna, patti-o, melly, raz, the giff, jilly and the georgia peach. i give MAJOR props to patti-o and shna who both traveled long distances and are pregnant! they were serious troupers but i know they had just as much fun as all of the wine drinkers.




when i got to the house the hugging session was well underway. and as i had mentioned in an earlier post the friday night festivities centered around an ugly sweater contest. i think we succeeded with the ugly part. we all looked pretty disgusting but hilarious at the same time. we even had a contest for the ugliest and MOB took home the prize (an autographed picture of katie couric), and muffin and i tied for second. pretty much we all should have won because we all looked like jackasses. after dinner and drinks poo poo opened presents (the majority of which were sexy lingerie (you're welcome sampson) and beav presented her with a wonderful video full of old photos and memories. the party continues...


we decided to play jenga like the champions we were. and if there was an olympic event for jenga playing we would have totally placed 3rd, 2nd tops.

unfortunately for MOB she lost the first g
ame and had to create a snow angel with no clothes on (kidding, maybe). the second game i lost and my punishment was a lot easier, i had to make a round of bombs. while making the bombs i was channeling my inner bartender shaking it like crazy. so crazy in fact that the glass shook right out of my hands, spilling the vodka all over the kitchen floor, simultaneously breaking the glass and spilling the last of the ice. bummer.

we still wanted bombs though. thankfully we are a resilient bunch. poo poo thought of using snow for ice. introducing, SNOW BOMBS... basically i filled a bunch of glasses with freshly fallen ny snow and topped them with vodka and red bull. in case you're wondering, they tasted like crap. but at the time we thought it was a really good idea. right around this time is when we decided to go to the bar.

our house was conveniently located about a block and a half from downtown EVL. we all bundled up, sans the preggers crew, and hit up madigans where im sure the locals thought we were all crazy coming in all loud and drunk with the most hideous outfits on. we danced our butts off, took a lot more bombs (thankfully not the snow variety), all while successfully playing the out of town card to our advantage. i think we might have been especially rude to a couple of dudes from pittsburgh (sorry teen).


i was completely greyed out by the time we were walking home. i do know that there was late night eating because i was put in charge of making a couple of boxes of mac and cheese. unfortunately i had the drops again and spilled an entire bowl of the stuff down foxxy's leg. tasty. (i swear i'm not normally a klutz)

i woke up the next morning on the couch...

[seriously this is the longest post ever. find out day 2 in ELV and the antics that ensued tomorrow. stay tuned plum heads]


NKOTB 4-eva

Sunday, January 27, 2008

i made it back from ellicottville, ny alive! SO much fun. stay tuned for all the delicious details...

while i'm currently trying to piece together all of the memories from the weekend, i obviously had to catch up on the celebrity gossip. i just saw this post on Dlisted and i think i might have a few tears of joy currently welling up in my eyes.

nkotb
4-eva

i guess they are retro now right?

UPDATE: just kidding. booooooo.

you think you know, but you have no idea

Thursday, January 24, 2008

what happens when you take 16 girls (coming from as far away as los angeles, alabama, st louis and chicago) and you put them all in one big house in NY for a ski weekend? i have no idea, but we are about to find out.

the day has finally arrived... it's poo poo's bachlorette party! i wonder if ellicottville knows what's about to hit it? expect a full report when i get back on sunday. paparazzi muffin is going to be in full effect documenting the weekend. specifically the ugly sweater party/contest that we are having friday night.

i know i have the winning entry... have a good weekend kids!

prune of the week 1.21.08

i'm a very big fan of the law and order franchise. i love um all, the original show, criminal intent and especially special victims unit. that christopher meloni is quite a cutie. but as much as i enjoy watching law and order, during one of the 2,432 episodes that i took in during the new years eve and day marathons i noticed something that to this day has ruined law and order for me.

i apologize in advance if you can no longer watch the show.

now i don't know about you, but if a detective was to come to my home or my place of employment i would give them my full attention. i would not walk away, i would not tell them that i didn't have time to talk and i especially would not continue to pole dance while being questioned. ugh.

after i picked up on the fact that no one ever pays attention the detectives it really started to dry my plums. there was this one instance in particular (i searched you tube and came up with nothing) that put me over the edge. the scene:: a ritzy suburban setting, a mother and her two children are playing in their backyard. two detectives approach to ask some questions about her neighbors, she answers one question then just stops talking to them and walks into her back door. so unrealistic!

i know it's tv and i know that it is a dramatization but i can't get past it. pay attention plum heads next time you watch any law and order just observe. i'll be waiting for you all to agree with me.

wyclef for president

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


i am finally feeling a bit better after my antics from last nights wyclef jean concert. apparently i thought it was saturday not tuesday. i also think im coming down with a cold, not a good thing to catch before poo poo's bachlorette party this weekend. oh well, on to last nights recap.

i love wyclef, and i haven't been this excited for a show in a really long time. so obviously i knew the night was going to turn into quite an event. bird and i had all of our friends over before the show. 12 girls and one lone boy (pimp). we ate maproom pizza and caught our buzz before we headed to the house of blues.

my friends and i took over the front right portion of the pit area, held our ground and had a killer dance party from the first note we heard. a skinny little white boy brought a wyclef for president t-shirt to the show, wyclef brought him on stage and preceded to put the shirt on (it seemed a bit staged to me but ya never know) the kid even ended up getting a pair of nikes at the end of the show. wyclef is a giver.

now i knew that wyclef was politically active but he really hates bush. chanting it over and over again. he also made a reference to having visited mayor frank jackson's office earlier in the day. half way through the show muffin pointed out mayor jackson in the sound board area rockin out. paparazzi alexa came out and i had to take a picture. the first one didn't turn out the way i wanted to so i had to take an additional one. by this point he was looking straight at me so i then i had to wave and say "hi mayor jackson!" only me. he was actually nice and waved back. i bet here never thought that pic would end up on a website.

there were so many highlights of the show that i have a problem writing them all. wyclef is a full service musician he plays the piano, guitar, sings and raps. talk about a talented individual. i loved that he played no woman no cry, and i also like the he rocked out some fugees classics. ready or not was hot. wyclef even went up to the balcony and sang on the ledge much to his bodyguards dismay. he even crowd surfed! i'm not gonna lie though, i was waiting for him to come out and play perfect gentleman as an encore but he didn't.

now i am not a professional writer (if you haven't noticed) so check out this review scene magazine wrote about the concert.

now on to the party part. after the concert was over most of the girls went home except me, muffin, court and reese. we went to the lyfe jennings after party in the cambridge room at the house of blues. mick boogie and terry urban were spinning and as always they brought it. we all danced around like idiots but had a really good time. terry urban has some sweet moves! ira newble from the cavs was feeling the music too. but there was absolutely no reason for us to be taking shots on a school night though. after the party wrapped up we should have gone home. obvy we didn't.

mercury lounge
on w 6th was the next stop. nothing was really going on there so we went to liquid, (btw liquid needs a website!) there ended up being a way better crowd. liquid was where muffin and i ran into our favorite indians bar rats, ryan garko and josh barfield. they were in town for the indians press tour this week. ryan was looking good, but man oh man did he have a lot of jersey chasers around him. one of the times i was talking to him this broad literally elbowed me. i'm like calm down slutty one i'm not trying to sleep with him. it was quite comical.

by this time it was WAY past my bedtime and muffin, reese and i walked back to my apartment. bird informed me this morning that we were pretty loud discussing our cleveland athlete sightings. we are such nerds! all in all it was a jammed packed night of fun, too bad i think it got me sick. oh well, it was worth it.

the loud one

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

for those of you that don't personally know me i'm going to let you in on a little secret... i'm loud. like really loud. i seriously think my parents failed to pass me the quiet gene. but not only am i loud on the decibel level but i like to talk (a lot), and i randomly burst into song. sound obnoxious you say? i have been told it is endearing. i'm gonna go with that.

there are several instances that my loudness (and my very distinctive raspy voice) have been brought to my attention. here are some examples:

:: when i worked at a publishing house in my early twenty's everyone in my office had their name programmed into their phone. after a short period of time i noticed that my name had been changed from alexa to "the loud one".

:: i often laugh so loudly that i snort. seriously i can't help it. (i actually just snorted thinking about snorting)

:: when i first moved into my apartment, before i knew my glorious neighbors the georgia peach and her husband i was the loud neighbor. they told me that when they first noticed that i had moved in was when they suddenly had the ability to hear this random girls phone conversations word for word. a few weeks later we actually met face to face at a party and georgia peach knew i was her new neighbor because of my voice. in my defense the "a-ha we have a neighbor" conversation that she was talking about was when i had just heard that one of my dearest and oldest friends had gotten engaged and had asked me to be in her wedding. i was a bit excited! (i have since gotten accustomed to "apartment living" and the thin walls)

:: my loud laugh has been used as a measure for how funny something is. the beav swears that if i'm not laughing the joke is a bomb! i also have been called out by a comedian on stage, he said, "i'm apparently doing something right, because this girl is going nuts!". of course at that point the entire club turns around to see who he is talking about.

:: i drove a lot when i was at the university of dayton (ghetto cruise, obvy). specifically to wendy's after the bar closed. we had a very special wendy's at dayton. it was open 24 hours, and served breakfast! we went a lot. usually i had like 6 girls crammed into my sentra. we ordered lots of JBC's, #6's and fries. how this is relating to me being loud comes in now. i was always driving, so in turn i was always the one ordering, they knew my voice by heart and the dude would always slip me the kids meal toys. once i didn't go to wendy's for over a month and upon my next trip the guy taking the order goes, "where have you been? we missed you and your voice!". creepy right?

:: i went to the an ENT doctor to check on the constant raspyness of my voice and the doctor informed me that i had vocal nodules (basically a callus on my vocal cords created from over use). the only cure was to stop talking and rest my voice. sure.

:: at my current job we have a very open environment (no cubes and no set office space). this obviously allows the team to hear EVERYTHING that we are all doing. this morning ziggy asks woolman if he could "go ahead and turn the volume down on the alexa machine". upon hearing this i laughed so hard i snorted. at least i'm a good sport right??

:: i'm greek, 'nuff said

i think sometimes i over compensate for my loudness because i have been told on a couple of occasions while i was on the phone with potential clients for example, that when i use my "business voice" i tend to sound like a sex phone operator. i think i was scarred from those comments and now i just scream so people don't think i use my voice to sell fluff. ew.

i know target has socks

Sunday, January 20, 2008

the scene: beav's condo in westlake. poo poo is cooking us sunday dinner. beav is resting her feet on a living room chair drinking a glass of wine.

Me: beav, let me see your socks

Beav: {hiding her feet} no.

Me: beav, let me see your socks! do they have holes along the whole bottom of them?!?!

Beav: what? they are fine! they totally cover my toes!

Me: but they don’t cover the ball of your foot or your heel! Oh my god muffin, look at beav's feet!

Muffin: {laughing} gross beaver!

Beav: I hate you both

37 months

37 months ago to the day i leased my jetta. i have two months left to go on my 39 month lease, and right now i am trying to decide if i want to buy my car or get a new one. but that decision is for another day.

what really got me thinking was when i saw on my monthly invoice that i had made 37 payments, i honestly got a bit sentimental. so much has changed in the more than three years that have passed.

december 2005 i was still living in canton with stepho, and i was working at a small marketing agency. i was happy. i was hanging with the north canton kids and the dp crew and that was more than enough fun for me to handle (I think my liver is still recovering from that year).

to this day i am still good friends with 90% of the people that were important to me at that time. a few friendships unfortunately got lost along the way but that ended up being for the best...

when i got the car i had absolutely no plans of ever leaving canton, but i am so happy i did. by far my decision to move to cleveland was the best decision i could have ever made. i don’t think a "canton’s a plum" blog would have been quite as interesting. although i do miss going to the haus five nights a week (I told you my liver needed to recover), it's a good thing canton is only a 50 minute trip down 77.

alright, enough of this sentimental crap. i need to make fun of someone - stat.

interesting...

now i am not trying to sway anyones vote and in no way is this blog going to become political. but something interesting was brought to my attention at dinner last night.

if hillary was to win the presidental election that would result in the white house having been run by only two families since 1989.

George H.W. Bush (1989-1993)
Bill Clinton (1993-2001)
George W. Bush (2001-2009)
Hillary Clinton (2009-2013, at minimum)

that's 24 years! chalk another 4 to it if hillary gets a second term. i don't know about you but 28 years with only two families in charge seems a bit incestuous to me. i think we need some new blood other than a clinton. republican or democrat.

how old am i?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

last night i went over to poo poo's parents house in westlake because she had just gotten in from chicago. the beav and her parents were over there as well. we drank lots of wine (i even brought over my favorite bottle of jaffurs syrah to celebrate) ate some grub and all just caught up.

the parents eventually left and went to bed and poo poo and i decided that we were going to go stay at the beav's condo right down the road. we grabbed some more wine from poo poo's parents wine fridge and got ready to leave. as we were cleaning up the kitchen two oranges and a banana just happened to by lying on the kitchen counter. beav decided to leave the following image for poo poo's parents to find in the morning.



i'm 27 years old, at what age do i stop finding this absolutely hysterical?!?!

prune of the week 1.14.08

when my current roommate bird moved in last may after poo poo moved to chicago everything was great, we are very good friends but also have different groups that mesh well together. it works. so when we had some friends over one night and after taking a step into the powder room i announced that my only pet peeve about living with bird was that she places the toilet paper the wrong way on the toilet paper roll. [see figure 1.1]



after i explained the right vs wrong way to her (she claimed to have never noticed the difference) the toilet paper was always placed the right way from then on. thanks bird!

now by no means am i naming my glorious roommate the prune of the week. i am going to name the annoyance of toilet paper being placed the wrong way as this weeks prune.

but what really dries my plums is that there is one person in my office that is a perpetrator of this weeks prune. i have no idea who is it, but i always end up having to change it. when i go into the restroom at work, the tp ends up looking like this. [see figure 1.2]



gross right? please do your part to stop wasting the toilet paper. do it right kids, over not under.

#19

Friday, January 18, 2008


omg. this really famous cleveland sports icon (rhymes with ernie shosar) is going to be in my office this afternoon to film a spot for a commercial we are producing for his newest business venture an arena football league called the cleveland gladiators. i'm totally going to try to take a picture with my camera phone paparazzi style. stay tuned...

on a side note, do you think "ernie" is going to feel awkward when he walks into the office and sees that we still have a browns themed christmas tree next to my desk, or when he walks downstairs and sees browns banners and neon lights, with a side of grown men weeping?

UPDATE: "ernie" came in totally cool and was nice to the whole staff, even posed for a couple of pictures. one of my co-workers apparently started to feel really comfortable with him, he called him bern. bff's for ever.

gone till never

Thursday, January 17, 2008

wyclef jean is playing at the house of blues this upcoming tuesday and EVERYONE needs to buy tickets and go. this show is going to be hot. i haven't looked so forward to a show in a really long time. i can honestly recite the carnival album verbatim from beginning to end. that was such a good year when it came out, senior in high school about to go to college. man that was good times.

from the fugees, hips don't lie, maria maria, perfect gentleman and the other 437 hits he has had. this is a must see show. hey wyclef-can you bring all of your collaborators too? now that would be p-i-m-p.

here's some videos to get ya all excited... (the first one is for you sissy)



lookie lookie lookie lookie lookie lookie here...


lyfe jennings and mick boogie are also on the bill. you know you wanna go.

wednesday is the new thursday

last night was one of those nights that i didn't plan on going out. after my original plans for the evening fell through i decided to go hangout with my west side friends. little did i know that dinner at the old stand would turn into a mini bar crawl.

starting off at the old stand (a random place that i have now been to twice in the last couple of weeks), i met foxxy, MOB and mo for dinner. i really wanted a glass of vino. the old stand isn't exactly known for their wine selection, but i didn't care it was what i wanted. 2 massive pours later i was buzzin' off of the cheap stuff.

next stop, the red rose cafĂ©. i heart the red rose, scene magazine even gave it the best dive bar award. not many people even know where it is but i actually used to work there. i bartended at the red rose every wednesday for a few months last spring/early summer, (i was in 4 weddings last year and the money i earned was for the “wedding fund”). it’s the kind of place that never changes. you walk in and the same regulars are sitting drinking their signature drinks. the best part of the bar is this amazing old school bowling machine, currently it is winter bowling league season (i bowled a 198 last night… yesssss). too bad im not on a team this year, but i don’t see why i can’t get excited about a sweet score.

so i continued my wine consumption, but this time it was franzia merlot (boxed wine at it's finest, ha!). of course i got made fun of incessantly because i wasn’t drinking a budweiser, and my friend pete even decided to mock my choice of drink more by buying me a smirnoff ice with a straw. hot. the bowling balls were a rolling and then the bombs started to flow. this was about when i started to dance. did i mention how good the red rose's jukebox is? it is the only box in town that you can rock out to shaggy, the lord of the dance, cat stevens and the ramones. pure awesomeness.

we bid the red rose adieu and went to the secret smoking bar. (i was told not to say the bars name in my post just on the off chance that someone would report them). i have never been to the secret smoking bar but i was surprised at how nice and spacious it was. i sure didn't miss the smoke smell though. seriously, you opened the door to the bar and the smoke just waifed out like a big cloud. there was some serious bakin' going on. and it's funny, the owners blatantly say screw you to the smoking law and even provide customers with ashtrays.

my cheap red wine tasting tour that i was on last night had to continue at the secret smoking bar, but this time it i got my own mini bottle of wine! (hilarious) one of the guys i was with decided that he also wanted the mini bottle of wine as well, too bad i got the only wine glass in the place (hilarious x2). we're not done yet. next stop pj mcintyres.

walking into pj mcintyres is like walking into a bar in dublin. the bartenders are irish (accent and all, pretty sexy), and often times there are random people singing traditional irish tunes and playing the guitar. it is kinda like walking into the twilight zone for this greek girl. at pj mcintyres is when i realized that it was approaching my bedtime and if i wanted to have any color at all in my face at work i needed to go home asap. right before i left an irish lad slipped me this, random. (obvy this pic was not taken with my new camera!)

last night was so much fun. but i was hurting this morning. ziggy, this dude i work with promptly told me that i looked like shit when i got into work. awesome, good morning too you too d-bag.

missing: one red patio umbrella

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

ella, ella, eh-eh-eh, under my umbrella. just kidding, no more umbrella for me!

i consider myself lucky to have a big deck attached to my downtown apartment. it is the best part about the place. i think there are 280 some units in my building and only about 10 have decks so it is a major selling point! i get all of the afternoon sun, and there is plenty of room to have a big table with chairs around it and a even a glider and another smaller table too. i get to plant lots of pretty flowers (red, to match my now missing umbrella), drink wine, get a tan or read a book all on the glorious deck. unfortunately though i don't have a view. my view is literally the roof, over the roof is the river that i don't get to see it. but i don't mind it as much, because at least i have an outside area.

when i moved in i picked out all the outdoor furniture with care, but my favorite part was the bright red accent umbrella to go with my table. so when i glanced out the window last week to find that the umbrella was (gasp!) gone, i freaked out. i went outside to see if it had blown onto the deck but it wasn't anywhere to be seen. i hopped onto the roof to see if it had fallen into the alley or something but alas, the umbrella was gone. the next night i had a dream that it was peacfully floating along the cuyahoga river when it suddenly got smashed by a barge. oops.

i do have a bit of guilt about the umbrella going missing (er, flying away), because I feel like it was my fault. stepho had bought me covers for my furniture and umbrella last winter and they are to this day still my my trunk. if only i had prepped the little guy for the big storm he would have survived. oh well, i guess i'll just have to buy another one in the spring.

by the way has this post made anyone else yearn for the summer?!?!

also, happy birthday poo poo!!! this is going to be an amazing year for you, i'm so excited for all the festivities! xoxo

please make it stop

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

i am begging to the writers guild of america. please, pretty please with a cherry on top, stop the strike. i'm talking to you too executives of the big entertainment companies, pay the writers what they deserve!!!

so last night was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. i seriously was angry that i was watching american gladiators. watching titan made me want to throw the remote at the tv. what the heck is up with his hair? the new gladiators are not only weird but scary. yet i was compelled to see who made it through to finish the eliminator first.

monday used the be my favorite night for television. how i met your mother (hands down the best half hour sitcom on television), heroes and the hills (don't judge, it's a guilty pleasure) but now there is nothing on.

back in the 80's the gladiators were cool. there was nitro, lace, malibu and zap. i was trying to find a you tube video showing the awesome old school intro for the original series and i found this video of malibu instead which is a way better watch. is this guy for real? HYSTERICAL!

thank you notes

Monday, January 14, 2008

dear sissy,

i would like to thank you for not hating me when i stole/borrowed your really cool black hat from anthropology. you knew that i wanted it for my own, so when i saw it laying on the shelf in the hall closet AFTER you already got on the plane back to manhatten. i figured you left it for ME! it was literally calling my name.

how nice of you i thought, if only you would have left those sunglasses too. so i brought it back to cleveland with me thinking it would take a day or two for you to notice your favorite hat was missing. but days turned into weeks and i still was wearing it on my dome. i contemplated mailing it to you as a surprise, but i figured you really did want me to keep it. so i kept wearing it.

when mom finally asked me yesterday if i had seen the now infamous hat and that she had been scouring the house for, all i could do was laugh. i surely thought you knew me better than that and would have called me first just knowing that i had taken it. i'm ashamed to admit that my reputation precedes me. i mean mom recently did just catch me trying to sneak away with a couple of her extra velcro rollers (who really counts velcro rollers?)

thanks again for not getting angry at me sissy. i don't think of it as stealing i think of it as sharing, i'm glad you do too.

love you,

alexa xoxo

p.s. i'll let you know how much it costs to reimburse me for the postage. sike.

Blogroll

Sunday, January 13, 2008


awesome bloggers

...and hijinks ensued
a[tipp]ical thoughts
alice's wonderland

angilio - loud and proud

big time fancy
berg with fries
dlisted
elle michelle

everything is wrong with me

gorgeous footsteps in the sand
half deserted streets

i hate so much

it's like, i'm...mmmagic!

just a small town girl

kyla bea

la dolce vita

lbluca77
livit luvit
long winded and proud
maiden metallurgist

marie's blog cafe
neatorama

no ordinary rollercoaster

oh! how lovely!
on the road with cavy
our little apartment
peter dewolf
public intoxication
post secret
skrinkering hearts
SoMi

speak on it

stylish handwriting
the change i wish to see
the everyday adventures of me in the city
the modern gal

the pilgrim congress
the tambourine queen

thinking some more
transient travels
to kiss the cook
you are flawed if you are not free




cleveland bloggers

27 dresses in cleveland
all lacquered up
addicted to vinyl
blogging jason

brewed fresh daily

but not everyday
candis heckling

chef's widow

cleveland bachelor
CLE clothing co
cleveland foodie
cleveland frowns
confessions of a cohabitant

encounters of the human kind

from the cheap seats
i heart cleveland

i rock cleveland

life, liberty and the pursuit of your boyfriend
life on mars
mick boogie
my friend cleveland

northcoast lifestyle

okay seriously

partytard
political science 216

random rants and musings

sensory overload
stilgenblogger

taawd's thoughts
tricia's dish
waiting for next year
white collar redneck
yes, i'm judging you

seriously, i love to shop

stepho (my mom) decided to flee to the cleve today to go shopping with me at beachwood place today. i haven't gone shopping out there since before christmas and i was itching to spend some gift cards and check out the mass amount of sales going on.

first we hit up best buy (on mayfield) where i got this camera. get ready for some new pics on the blog people!! then we hit nordy's my favorite department store ever. unfortunately though i didn't have much luck there which was strange. i did find some shoes that i think i really need for vegas (the black and gold ones) but they aren't anything that i need to be purchasing right now. i also had to give the wonderful sales girl in handbags my phone number to let me know if the chloe bag that i want gets discounted 40% off like she thinks it will (stepho of course pointed out to me that per my blog, one of my new years resolutions was to not buy designer bags. boo.) don't worry mom i promise i'll try not to buy it. just hope that someone else buys it before i get the chance.

after nordy's we went to various stores in the mall i got a couple of suitable work dresses on sale from the gap and a cute wool sweater dress from banana. also and this part annoys me, i bought these shoes in black from dillard's full price, only to find them $40 cheaper online when i was looking up the link so show you all. (i since have decided to take them back after realizing that they look like mary poppin shoes)

finally i went to saks to switch the fragrance of a perfume stepho got me for christmas. if you're not familiar with bond no 9 perfume you need to be. i got the full size bottle of nuits de noho and the smaller size of the bryant park fragrances (i just couldn't pick just one!) they smell glorious.

ok, enough about the shopping it is even beginning to bore me. after shopping we then went to maggianos little italy with one of our very good family friends little sara. (sara by the way coined to term "stepho" that we lovingly started calling my mother at morton's one night over ten years ago, guess it stuck). i also had another pseudo celebrity sighting, mike fratello was sitting in the booth next to us (he is so wee!). stepho and her friends always go to maggianos when they come and shop at beachwood and get the family style dinner. she raves about it and told me that we had to try it. well there is a TON of food but it was all very good, and i'm pretty sure that the georgia peach's husband loved all the left overs i brought him.

all in all this weekend was a very low-key one full of catch phrase and scene it, (which i am STILL undefeated in). this was a good thing because i know the next two weekends will be full of fun between poo poo coming home and poo poo's bachlorette party is in NY the weekend after that. i simply can't wait.

happy monday all.

jacob's field no more

Saturday, January 12, 2008


better get used to it kids, it is going to be progressive field for the next 16 years. in a deal that has progressive insurance on average spending $3.6 million annually for the naming rights, the 70 year old cleveland based company has finally decided to start spending some serious dollars in the cleveland market that homes its national headquarters.

there is so much hullabaloo going on right now about jacob's field being no more. and to some degree i agree. the people of cleveland although wonderful are not the best with change. so the thought of the precious jake being no more is obviously causing quite a stir.

i see a couple sides to the coin. the end of the jacob's era makes me sad. dick jacobs did so much for downtown cleveland when so many other names (art modell) were selling off their investments. jacobs swooped in and said hey, i believe in cleveland. so much so that i am going to invest millions of development dollars into this city and into the indians franchise (granted i'm sure he made some dough on the whole affair for himself). since 1994 downtown cleveland has been that much better. i mean how many straight seasons in a row did the indians sell out jacobs field every game. 4 years? 5 years? i'm not sure but it was a lot. it is the end of the jacobs era and i think there needs to be some sort of shrine to dick jacobs in the new progressive field. we should thank him that we even have a progressive field to watch our indians in.

now what's wrong with progressive insurance? nothing. (well other then the ridiculously high insurance premium i have to pay on my car, but that isn't entirely their fault) i think it is about time they put their stamp on cleveland on a more prominent level. they are a huge national brand, right in our back yard, and i'm glad they are spending their money in cleveland. we'll take it! i would rather have progressive's name on the former jake then some company based out of minnesota. i'm glad we are keeping it in northeast ohio. i think the root of the naming is good, but only time will tell what progressive will do with the power of it.

so now my fellow clevelanders we will just have to get used to calling the jake "the prog". we can do it. i mean it only took us 3 years to quit calling the Q the gund.

prune of the week 1.7.08

Friday, January 11, 2008

howdy all. welcome to this weeks prune of the week. if you're a new reader check out last weeks post here. drum roll please...i would like to announce this weeks prune as...

bus lanes!

every day i drive to work from w 9th to the east 30's on st. clair avenue. it is a straight shot from home to my office and there is reasonably less traffic on st clair then taking superior through public square. once you pass w 3rd on st clair the right lane turns into a bus only lane from approximately 7am to 9am and 4pm to 6pm (im really not sure of the exact times, i'll have to check, but you get the idea. basically during all the commuter times).

in driving down st clair on my way to work i maybe see a bus in the bus lane once a week. but what i ALWAYS see in that lane are cops pulling over unsuspecting commuters. sometimes i even see two cops, one on each side of the street simultaneously pulling over cars! there is one upright sign on the right after you cross w 3rd heading east stating the terms of the bus lane (there may be another one closer to e 9th stating the bus lane terms as well). the problem is if someone is heading downtown from the suburbs for a meeting, job interview or apartment hunting they would never know the difference except for when they get a $120 ticket. welcome to cleveland, come back soon.

if the city is going to continue to have the right lane unusable for cars there needs to be better signs. on superior the words BUS ONLY are painted onto the street alerting the driver. there is no hiding the fact, unlike on shady st clair. i'm guessing that they will never paint the streets announcing the bus lane to the drivers. there is way too much revenue flowing from the motorcycle cops stopping on average 5 cars a day. we are talking about over $200,000 in city revenue. i wonder whose salary that pays? (on another sore note i also despise the camera speeding tickets, this girl alone has paid $600 to that fund)

i do want to clarify that i am not interested in breaking the law, if you break it you buy it (i.e. buying the ticket) but the problem with breaking this bus lane law is that no one knows it even exists, until they get a ticket.

so that is why st clair avenue bus lanes, YOU are the prune of the week.

biff goes sledding

Thursday, January 10, 2008



so i have this friend named donkers, and if you live or party in the warehouse district you have probably more often than not run into the likes that is the donk. he's pretty hard to miss. think biff from the back to the future trilogy but nicer. donkers is interesting, you can't help but laugh at the simplicity of him. this post is going to tell you the tale of donkers on his recent snowboarding extravaganza trip.

thankfully the georgia peach's husband got a really cool skiing video helmet contraption for christmas (see picture), or the world would never have seen the following videos taken straight from that little camera. personally i think he should quit medicine and become a professional cameraman.

the set up :: donkers getting off the ski lift. apparently no one told him not to lock both boots until he gets closer to the incline.


he's really good at it isn't he? finally donkers just gives up. throws his hands in the air and says screw it, i'm going to have fun somehow. which leads us to the next video.


i give him a C for effort, a B for resilience and an A for pure jackass.

bucket list

morning plum heads. it's always sunny in clevelands! sike, well today at least it is.

so on the cover of the plain dealer arts & life section this morning there was a piece on notable clevelanders "bucket list". has anyone seen the preview for the movie that they are talking about? the premise is two older fellas (played by jack nicholson and morgan freeman) attempting to cross things off this list before they kick the... wait for it... bucket. honestly i cried at the preview when i saw it in the theater (i was a bit weepy that day i guess). after the preview it got me thinking about what i wanted to accomplish. then when the PD had their article starring at me with my morning coffee, i knew i had to put finger to keyboard and write out my bucket list.

here it is, wild to mild.
  • get married and have kids (standard)
  • go to the sundance film festival in utah
  • spend at least a month straight on the island of st. john in the virgin islands
  • go back to mackinac island (mackinac island will have to be a whole post in itself one day)
  • be cast on a reality tv show
  • own a boat (preferably a yacht purchased with the money i win on the reality show)
  • wear a bikini (must look HOT in it or it doesn't count)
  • sit court side at a cavs game
  • go to the golden globes
  • work on a national marketing/advertising campaign
  • own a range rover (has to be new)
  • go over a year without getting a speeding ticket
  • go wine tasting in napa valley
  • see my grandkids graduate from college
i think that is a pretty decent bucket list. i'd be happy to cross any of the above off my list. reading it now though the list seems pretty shallow and materialistic. oops.

what are some things on your bucket list? happy commenting people!


january dinner club - dante

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

recently the girls and i have decided to start a monthly dinner club. last night was the inaugural dinner and we had 8 girls attend. the usual characters that you all have met (muffin, court, the georgia peach, dr wild, MOB) and a few you have yet to make the acquaintance of (jilly, LA and cubby's better half) all got together and dined at dante.

dante is the brainchild of the chef that gave it his namesake dante boccuzzi, the musician entrepreneur was more than generous with his time in talking to our table last night. the georgia peach mentioned to him (after our bottle of pino was finished) that i had a blog and was planning on writing up my visit. of course dante blushed and made sure i was going to write all good things. he also promised to read my post... you out there dante?

for starters, the rain (or dr wild's newly broken knee) couldn't stop our trek to valley view. more often than not when i dine out i stick to the warehouse district, tremont and ohio city. those locations all have plenty of options to entice my taste buds over and over, so for me to want to hit up valley view i must have been hearing good things about dante.

now is where i am going to ask you to check out the cleveland foodie's take on dante (she's the professional food critic not i). check out her post here.

so we arrive at dante and are seated at a beautiful large wood table in the bar area, i personally think it was the best table in the place (dante obviously heard that we were ballers). excited to be there we all begin to dive into the menu, and our wine. now i had heard about the pasta tastings and had planned on making a few of them as my entree. but for starters the group tried out the goat cheese fritters, the calamari (which had a great spicy kick to it) and the fingerling potato salad with pickled onions (love them), a bacon heavy vinaigrette and a poached egg on top. one would think stranger combo right? but it worked

oh! i forgot the best part! before the starters the chef presented us all with a large shot glass full of fennel cream soup with a basil infused oil drizzle on top. (i had to remind MOB that we weren't at the public house and that the soup was for sipping not shooting). as we sipped the oo's and ah's made their way around the table. it was the perfect amous bouche. (poo poo, did i use that french correctly?)

so the shot of soup was wonderful, the starters were delicious and now it was time for the entrees. dante has this 3 size option that you can choose with any of the pasta dishes. $4 for a tasting, $8 for a starter and $18 for a main course. talk about a deal, and a great option for someone like me who wants a bit of everything. it's like a 5 star pasta buffet! so obviously i had to try the tasting portions and went with the short rib cavatelli, the potato ravioli with chicken livers (yum!) and the truffled tagliatelle carbonara. all wonderful. my friends that had the gnocchi also raved.

unfortunatly i have one complaint. two of my pasta tastings were luke warm at best. i have a pretty good palette and i knew the flavors were there and it tasted glorious i just wish it didn't seem like the pasta had been sitting while they finished up a different entree or something.

dessert time! so by now everyone was full, but not me, fatty wanted some dessert. obviously i shared. i got the trio of caramel creme (i wish i remembered the formal name). the dessert consisted of a cinnamon caramel ice cream, a flan/custard dish with a great spun sugar accent, and three mini beignets coated in sugar. mm mm good!

the ambiance was excellent, the wait staff was extremely attentive and friendly, plus there was free valet parking! score.

all in all a great experience and i would recommend it to anyone.

ladies, it was a lovely evening and i can't wait till february's dinner club! (i'll get to the evite this week i promise!)

monti the wonder dog

now i have never been an animal lover. i think i was just born without the gene or something. but my friend MOB has a miniature dachshund named monti. now i swore up and down that i would never post "animal humor" on my blog because i find it so obnoxious but i will let this video slide because 1. i personally know monti and 2. because i laugh really hard listening to my friends comment and giggle during the video (apparently i am in a video posting mood).

the premise... monti gets a new coat but is so wee that she can't walk in it without falling down. very comical.

are you ready for your close up monti darling?


MVI_0804
Uploaded by maryob5

hot sundaes

Tuesday, January 8, 2008


so i'm joining a new gym tomorrow and i felt the need to get myself pumped up and ready for the challenge. and who do i turn to in my time of need? none other than the hot sundaes! enjoy this video, have a dance party, sing-a-long, laugh at the awesome outfits, the slow motion effects and party like it is 1991.

1, 2, 3, bend! 1, 2, 3, stretch!

an open letter to my mother

Dear Mother,

I really like that you have decided to start reading my blog. I especially like when you call me to tell me that I have an typo. That's fun!

I would like to clarify one thing with you. I promise I know how to capitalize and punctuate correctly. Because I am choosing not to capitalize on my blog, I also promise that I am not contributing to the dumbing down of America. Not nearly enough people read my blog to start a worldwide anti-capitalization movement.

Also, if you could please alert your sister, my "tiajo", that by my blogging I am not hurting anyone, let alone myself. I will be very careful not to put too much personal information out onto the internet.

I hope this calms your overprotective motherly instinct. You are the best mommy ever, and I love you very much.

Your Daughter,

Alexa

awesome chair

Monday, January 7, 2008

who here has had a ridiculously embarrassing moment recently?

about an hour ago i was having an internal meeting, (thankfully no clients had to witness what happened) sitting like an angel listening to my boss and colleagues discuss an upcoming meeting. well apparently i was leaning too far forward on the ROLLING office chair that i was sitting in because the darn thing flipped completely forward throwing me to the ground with a big bang. what do i do? laugh. but the awkward thing was that no one else really laughed. i mean if i was sitting in a meeting, especially one with only coworkers, and someones chair flipped completely over i would point and laugh. perhaps thats the devil in me.

now i think this would be embarrassing to anyone. but what makes it that much worse is that it wasn't the first time it happened. in october i was carving a pumpkin (yes, my office has a pumkin carving contest during halloween, my team won. boo ya!) and apparently i was really getting into it and the same thing happened when the ROLLING chair flipping completely over. both times my boss had to not only help me up but return the chair into the standard upright position. awesome, welcome to the team.

moral of the story is. i will NEVER sit the in the middle chair on the front side of the conference table again. i swear the floor has got to be on an incline or something.

so tonight is the big game! O-H! I-O! dr wild reserved a table at the blind pig for a group of our friends to watch the game. all i know is there will be food, beer and lots of televisions. it should be a good game, so go bucks!