let's take a trip back to junior high and high school shall we?
i don't know what it is about silly horoscopes and cosmopolitan quizzes that make you think about your crush in relation to a. b. c. and d. multiple choice options. i guess it gives teenagers across the country hope.
but let us not forget the ultimate school fortune telling tool - M.A.S.H.
you ALL know what i'm talking about here, don't pretend that you don't.
when you filled out the M.A.S.H. survey (mansion, apartment, shack or house) your life is immediately planned out for you. let's look for a second at what a sample M.A.S.H game looked like for me back in 1996, when i was the ripe age of 16.
crushes: chris, joe, john, brian, dan
occupation: singer, actress, advertising, president, anchor woman
car: range rover, mercedes, volvo, saab, bmw
colors: white, ivory, red, turquoise, black
age for marriage: 24, 25, 26, 27, 28
number of kids: 0, 1, 2, 3, 4
city: cleveland, nyc, denver, canton, boston
honeymoon: hawaii, london, greece, virgin islands, australia
so if i look at this as a 28 year old there are some options that simply aren't possible anymore. meaning that (gasp) it's all bullshit.
M.A.S.H? well i do live in an apartment.
those crushes? 4 out of 5 of them are married and the 5th one is gay - um, no.
occupation? well technically i'm in marketing but advertising is in the same family - win!
car? i drive a volvo s40 - win!
colors? that was supposed to be for your wedding dress - still single but i had a white debutantes ball dress. doesn't count does it?
age for marriage? looks like i thought i was going to be married a lot younger than the reality of it all. that is unless i get married sometime between now and july 1st - 28 won't be happening either. any takers?
number of kids? that's a goose egg folks.
city? cleveland - woo!
honeymoon? considering i've been to four out of the five places already i'll consider that a win.
my old M.A.S.H's also prove that i didn't marry johnny depp either. go figure.
now it's your turn - tell me your M.A.S.H/cosmo quizzes/love calculator stories.