for the love of kwan

Thursday, January 22, 2009

in november i wrote a post about the ridiculous billboard across the street from my apartment promoting the US Figure Skating Championship that is being held in cleveland this year.

{style. attitude. sequins. 'nuff said.}

well the time has come, and the championship will be going on all week in cleveland at the
Q. lucky for me my friend genna had a pair of tickets for wednesday night's competition and she was nice enough to give them to me - thanks lady! so i picked up georgia peach after work, and we were off.

i have always been a fan of figure skating - do i really have to remind you of the tanya harding/nancy kerrigan incident of '94? didn't think so. but as much of a fan i am i have never seen a real life competition until now....

i like love ice skating!

observation #1: as we were getting situated in our seats we realized that something was missing...

noise - the silence was deafening.

where were the announcers?

i realized that i was so used to scott hamilton and dorothy hamill telling me move by move what the skaters were doing when i watched figure skating on tv, that without them i was completely lost.

was it a triple salchow, double flip, quadruple toe loop or the leg up in the air spinning around really really fast thingy?

i had no clue - although we were educated enough to know when someone fell on their ass.

observation #2: unless you have the arm of cal ripken jr, throwing a large teddy bear for the skaters from the club level to the ice is a bad idea. mostly because it will not make it to the ice. instead it will land on an unassuming man's head sitting in the level below.

the snort/laugh that came out of me was heard throughout the whole arena. i don't care how quite it was, i could not keep it in. hilarious.

after a few hours georgia peach and i had our fill of the oksana baiul clones, and while we were walking out saw a few of the athletes winding down on the main concourse being goofy. those crazy kids.

ice skaters, just like us... but with sequins.

39 comments:

  1. Everyone should have sequins in their life.

    You know I have never gone ice skating before in my whole life. How sad is that?

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  2. Haha! I would have never known you can't hear the announcers there! That's hilarious! I would be have been wondering the exact same thing.

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  3. Awww figure skating reminds me of my grandmother. She was the only one who would watch with me.

    I went ice skating for the first time last year and wow. Not my bag. My ankles are made of jello or something because I could barely go around once without pain. Ouch.

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  4. I tend to find deafening silence hiiiiiiiiiilarious and I always make inappropriate noises. then.

    It's bad.

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  5. I have always thought that it would be awesome to go to a figure skating competition, but no announcers? That could pose a problem. Sounds like it was fun!

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  6. Do they sell alcohol at these skating events?

    I sure hope they do. Thats the only way Id ever go.

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  7. I used to watch with my mom all the time when I was a wee lad. Now, I'm grown up and hairy and junk, so I don't watch nearly as much.

    It was always cool to see Hamilton do the backflip in blue jeans. Amazing.

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  8. They should offer free audio commentary with Scott Hamilton that you can listen to on your iPod. I know his cheering "YES!" is my cue to get excited.

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  9. I went to a WWF wrestling match, and it was the same way(is it still the WWF?)all you heard was the bodies pounding on the ring. No talking. What the hell??? It's way better on TV! I guess you take announcers for granted. Props to them!

    I love ice skating, its so fun to watch!!! Lucky!

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  10. Wouldn't it be funny if someone let out a fart in that silence?!

    I have the sense of humor of a five year old.

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  11. Wow! I cannot imagine watching ice skating without the announcers. And sequins? Everyone needs a few of those every once in a while.

    Glad you had a good time!

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  12. I've never watched any figure skating in my life unless on tv. How sad, I know.

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  13. I love this post.

    I have fond memories of watching figure skating on TV, but admit I'd also be lost without the narration.

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  14. ha, that's cool that you got to go to it. i would have missed the play by plays too!

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  15. Is that thumb you're showing the count of straight men that are in the crowd?

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  16. Figuring skating without announcers...that's just not right.

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  17. Wow. I never realized that the announcers are ONLY on tv! I'd be SO lost if I saw ice skaters in real life then, too!

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  18. This reminds me of the time I took a train for 2 hours to Lowell Massachusetts to see the Women's World Curling Championships.

    It is NOTHING like you think it is on TV.

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  19. for the love of kwan.

    har har har.

    i didn't need to read any further to know this post would be all sorts of amazing.

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  20. My sister and I used to "ice skate" across the living room floor in our socks while watching the Winter Olympics. I've never seen it live, I'm glad you got to experience the magic of the sequins.

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  21. I wanted to be a figure skater so I could wear costumes with sequins. I'm not kidding. Too bad the sports requires something called coordination.

    The instructer on my first day of lessons told me to be a figure skater it required coordination and it was something I did not have.

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  22. my mom used to yell out "oksana baiul" at the most random times because she thought it sounded funny.

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  23. I've never been, but I could totally get into that. What's not to love? Sequins, dancing, the possibility of death...

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  24. that event was here in the twin cities last year and i felt kind of famous because my doctor was one of the official docs for the competitors. ok so maybe that makes him kind of famous, not me, but still...maybe by default?

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  25. I'm with Matt, the only way I'd go is if I could get wasted.

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  26. What Would Brian Boitano do?

    Seriously, I'm asking.

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  27. So was it more or less like a Lake Erie Monsters game with more jazz hands?

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  28. i would just assume everything was a triple axel. wait? is that even it? i have no idea.

    toe pick!

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  29. I figure skated for about 13 years. I was first put on the ice at 4. I have been a part of so many competitions, though none as prestigious as that one. They make me nervous- I loved figure skating solo, but it made me realize that I like team sports better. I can't handle the spotlight.

    And, because we didn't have as much money as the other figure skaters, my mom bought me very plain, cheap costumes and then bedazzled them. haha - good thing I was too young to be embarrassed while I skated next to custom made costumes.

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  30. I love that you went to that. The photo cracks me up!

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  31. Ice skating is one of those things that is just not as interesting now as it was back in the days when famous skaters were hiring hit men to take out other famous skaters' knees. You know?

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  32. i always am fascinated by figure skating. When I was little I wanted to be one but i was not good at standing up on the ice, let alone moving gracefully. I still like watching but i've come to accept that i'll never, ever, EVER be able to move like that.

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  33. lol I would totally be waiting for the announcers too! That's so strange!

    My favorite thing about skating is the training harness they put you in to practice jumps that hauls you way into the air. I can barely skate and I still want in on that!

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  34. I saw a competition in new york YEARS ago (remember the tanya harding/nancy kerrigan incident you mentioned, yeah, around that time frame!)
    And i remember thinking the same thing! "Um... look, little moving sparkly dots on ice!" with no idea what they were doing!

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  35. oh yeahhhh...i'd never thought of it without the commentators! i'd probably be super bored!

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  36. Why are you assuming that I don't wear sequins.

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  37. Scott and Nancy were definitely my favorite. I loved when Scott would do those kooky numbers... what a hoot!

    I'm pretty jealous that you got to see some figure skating live. I'll have to add that to my list of things to accomplish before I die.

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