i drank the kool-aid

there once was a time in my life when my biggest decision of the day was which pair of jean shorts and jellies i wanted to wear to play outside in.

now i have real shit to worry about.

there also was a time in my life when my biggest decision of the day was which flavor of kool-aid my neighborhood friends and i (i'm looking at you KJ), were going to sell at our kool-aid stand.

and now they don't even sell ecto-cooler! the humanity!

confession: back in the day i was what one could call a kool-aid stand professional. between myself, my sister and all of our neighborhood friends there was always a stand open on my block.

we would even hold contests - with competing stands set up right across the street from each other to see who could make the most money. we were like little entrepreneurs.

lucky for me though i had the secret ace in my pocket. i would take the time to call my dad at his office and ask him to come buy some lemonade. and an hour or so later he would roll up in his porsche convertible like a bad ass, hand me a twenty dollar bill, drink a dixie cup full of flavored water and drive away.

i win!

[sidenote: still to this day when i drive by a kool-aid stand i will always stop and give the kids $5 or $10 for a drink. the excitement on their faces are priceless]

i was also savvy enough to set-up a stand on the morning of the professional football hall of fame grand parade day. seeing that the house i grew up in was a few blocks away from the parade route we got tons of walking traffic. i would make a serious killing that saturday. people were parched, i was providing a service!

so here's the deal, i was obviously good at selling kool-aid when i was 8 so why can't i sell it when i'm 28?

recalling my roots i've come up with a new business plan - with a twist.

what if on weekend nights i start selling kool-aid, but for adults?

i live in arguably the busiest party district in downtown cleveland, so i'll still be setting up shop in front of my "house". and who doesn't like a nice little road pop as you walk from bar to bar? those frat-tastic stripped shirt boys and hoochies wearing tube tops in january will drink this stuff up. maybe i'll even make jello shots for when the maproom line gets too long?

i'm going to make a killing.

if sketch balls can sell wilted roses and feather boas on the corner why can't i sell vodka infused kool-aid?

i'll worry about the legal ramifications later - let me dream people.