i can't see ya

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

it doesn't matter how expensive your eye glasses are, if you are blind as a bat they will still look ugly as heck once your glass block frames are added.

my prescription: -11.25 (left) -10.75 (right) and throw in an astigmatism for good measure**

technically i'm not legally blind because my eyes can be corrected, i.e. with contacts or glasses i can see perfectly fine. but i would kill to wake up in the morning and just be able to see, which is probably why i choose to fall asleep with my glasses still on 6 out of 7 nights a week.

what happens is i'm usually watching some late night monologue from bed about to doze off when the obvious happens, i fall asleep.

(insert dreams of unicorns, rainbows, sex with russell crowe, volcanoes, and bloggers being inappropriate)

around 6:15am my alarm goes off for the first time, i say first time cause i hit snooze approximately 6 times. after hitting snooze for the first time i move my hands around my bed to look for my glasses, if they aren't still on, check my alarm clock and go back to sleep - glasses on.

for the next hour of snooze buttoning my right arm subconsciously hits the top of my clock radio while my face is in the pillow with my glasses smooshing into my face.

by the time my lazy ass finally drags myself out of bed my glasses have been back on my face for at least an hour causing a nice indent in my forehead above my left eyebrow.

just picture waking up to an indent on my forehead, coke bottle glasses and bed head every morning - and i wonder why i'm single.

thankfully prada makes good sturdy eye glasses cause they haven't broke yet.

now, if only someone will donate that ridiculously expensive and non insurance covered eye lenses implants to me i wouldn't have to deal with the above crap. any takers?


**just in case you are wondering, if i was able to get lasik i would have gotten it many, many, years ago - my eyes are actually too bad for the surgery.

43 comments:

  1. I want lasik too. but im scared to get it. What if you go blind? eeeek!

    im a fan of setting 6 alarms on my phone, starting 1 hour before i need to get up and then snoozing my last one until im spose to be at work and then getting up.

    i suck at mornings!

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  2. WOW. I thought I was bad. I'm -6.5.

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  3. Ok, I can't complain. mine are 4.75 and 4.25

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  4. How does everyone know their prescriptions so well? I can barely recite my phone number and you people know every measurement in the book.

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  5. I didn't know that eyes could be too BAD for Lasik...

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  6. I hate waking up blind, as well. Which is why I used to sleep in my contacts all the time. Until my eye doctor yelled at me.

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  7. I'm with Narm... is this supposed to be common knowledge?

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  8. bloggers being inappropriateThat's a given, no?

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  9. I'm thinking I'll have to get glasses soon for driving at night and reading. The computer has killed my vision.

    And not having insurance? It sucks.

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  10. This is one of those times I'm happily ignorant about what you write. I wear no glasses. Even an old lady like me has perfect vision.

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  11. fizzgig - we wake up the best way

    maxie - you are bad in so many other ways my friend

    allison - i lap your eyes like twice

    narm - it's on my box of contacts, and when your eyes are as bad as mine and every eye doctor i see says "wow, your eyes suck" i tend to remember. ha.

    ashley - unfortunately, yes they can be.

    liebchen - our eyes need to breathe baby

    matt - see above, i think it is supposed to be though. i'm also weird, so go figure

    peter dewolf - i wouldn't have it any other way

    megan - i think it's made mine worse too, like my eyes have started to hate me even more - if thats even possible

    nilsa - you are hardly an old lady!! and i'm jealous of your vision, and your hair. you have great hair.

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  12. Sorry to hear your struggle. I am new to glasses myself, due to starring at a computer and books all day.

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  13. Whew, I'm so glad I'm not the only one with coke bottle glasses.

    So, yes, I totally feel your pain. I would love to see when I go swimming. Though in recent years, I've just given up and worn my glasses in the pool or lake and prayed they didn't float away!

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  14. I've always had the worst vision of my family and friends and I'm -4.25. well think i'm probably worse than that since its been a while since i had an eye exam but suddenly things have been put in perspective!

    i can't count the number of times i've fallen asleep with my contacts in and woken up thinking my vision has been restored. it's a bummer.

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  15. "bloggers being inappropriate"

    Kinda redundant, no?

    See? Inappropriate!

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  16. my goodness! i thought my eyes were bad when i got to -5.00 in both eyes.

    if if makes you feel better, i think i might need reading glasses by the time i'm 30.

    actually, i think our whole generation is going to need reading glasses earlier in life from all the computer eye strain.

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  17. Ick! That's not good at all. I cannot say I have had the same experience, even though I do wear glasses. However, my boy is a different story...

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  18. Wow, I thought mine were bad at -5.25 and -4.5! I've got nothin' on you, lady!

    I hate waking up and not being able to see. And, making it worse is my boyfriend with his better than perfect vision, constantly reminding me he would hate it if he couldn't see. Boo.

    Sorry lasik is out for you.. that sucks!

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  19. Hubby and I just got new glassed last month. We both got the poly-carbonate lenses. Me, because I wanted them. Him, because as strong as he is, he wouldn't be able to hold the weight of the lenses! He actually had to get some that were the thinnest lightest lenses ever and mine are still thinner!
    I would kill for Lasik. It's so darn expensive. My SIL got it and LOVES it! I'm SO jealous!

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  20. Wow, Russel Crowe is still in the rotation. How old school!

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  21. No way! We are so playing "guess which one of us is spooning you" when you come visit in May!

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  22. i too am beyond lasik. so if you ind someone who wants to donate to you AND me, pass their name along ;)

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  23. I have two alarm clocks and the alarm on my phone and I still don't get out of bed for at least an hour. I haven't made it to work on time in about 3 months.

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  24. Yikes, that's pretty bad. My eyes aren't great, but perhaps they are in comparison.

    On the up side, you don't have a dog who ate your glasses twice, including stealing them off your sleeping face one night. Ya. That kinda sucked. $75 sucked.

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  25. You are the only person I know that beats me. I'm at a -10.75.

    I will send you a pocket protector

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  26. umm yeah. glasses wearers unite! every time i get new glasses, my now old glasses become my "sleeping" glasses. my family mocks me, but i like watching will & grace at 11....i just can't make it through the whole episode. my tv has a sleep button....why can't my glasses get themselves the bed-side table when i'm finished with them? i consistently wake up around 4 am wondering how my glasses ended up beneath my back or cock-eyed on my face.

    i wish i could do lasik...one day!
    i can't wait to watch will & grace w/o sleeping glasses!

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  27. I'm also nearly blind without my glasses and contacts. It's sad. I can see large objects but nothing specific. I'm like a blind person feeling around. Stupid insurance.

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  28. I had no idea that you could be too blind to get the surgery. wow.

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  29. Are you sure that your eyes are too bad for surgery, when was the last time you checked? I was .10th away from being considered legally blind in one of my eyes (and had astigmatisms as well). A little over 5 years ago I had lasik and now have perfect vision. I completely understand where you're coming from. Email me if you want the info on where I had the surgery, they offer free consultations. I paid for it out of pocket but it was worth every penny. My brother and aunt have had it done since too.

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  30. My alarm goes off at 5:45 every morning even though I don't have to actually get up till 6:30. I can't not keep hitting the snooze button. It's weird to me when people hear the alarm go off for the first time and just jump out of bed. I need preparation time to face the day.

    See (no pun intended) with the vision thing this is a case of the have nots. I have perfect vision but I like to wear fake glasses occasionally. It's the same thing with people that have straight hair always want curly and vice versa. Just saying, glasses are cool.

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  31. It's so weird, almost everyone in my family needs glasses, and I've had 20/20 my whole life. I wonder if it's going to catch up with me?

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  32. I won't complain again about my eye sight. I think it's -7. Also, falling alseep with glasses on sucks. Usually I have nose prints for a solid hour.

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  33. My husband has the same type of issue as you do. I feel so sorry for him when he drops his glasses because the poor guy just can't see a thing. He wants to get the surgery but he's scared because the astigmatism complicates it, as I'm sure you know.

    Poor you.

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  34. eyes too bad for lasik? oh my...

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  35. I'm probably repeating what others have said because I took my sweet time reading and commenting, but you can't get lasik because your eyes are that bad? Well then, these eye docs are just not doing their job then.

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  36. luckily i'm not that bad but i have a feeling i'm getting there. i struggle to see things far away now, it's so sad.

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  37. heh. oh man, you know i feel you on this one. although i kind of envy your prada frames now..

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  38. My bf has similarly ridic eyes. His glasses got smashed at a concert and he was so useless he had to hide in a corner til one of his friends noticed him because he may have otherwise died in a mosh pit!

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  39. As everyone above said, wow. I'm sorry you can't get Lasik =(

    My prescription is not that bad, about -4.0, but without my glasses or contacts on I feel completely vulnerable and helpless. Is that weird?

    When I was a senior in high school, I broke my glasses during English class and I freaked the F out and cried for my mom to pick me up.

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  40. dude. hilarious. this is every morning for me too. I always fall asleep with my glasses on. even as I'm falling asleep sometimes I remember and still leave them on. It sucks waking up to random blurry shapes around you. But I have screwed up so many pairs when my crazy sleep twists them up; I walked around town with crooked glasses for years. So I now have a separate pair of glasses to fall asleep in. how crazy is that.

    and i love that i paid the extra money to get the "thinner" lens on my new pair...and it's still like a piece of a storm window.

    maybe this is why i'm still single too :)

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  41. mine are very minimal so I wont say what it is but now i have to wear glasses for heavy computer data and long reading and for driving at night. Oh and I have astigmatism too.

    At least I have cute glasses.

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