it figures as much

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

you know when everything is going well?

the stars are aligning, the words that are coming out of your mouth are surprisingly making sense, you're having a good hair or outfit day, and that boy you have a crush on just called and asked you out.


but you see, whenever everything is going peachy keen for me i somehow end up making an ass out of myself.

i like to call it my life's natural balance.

something always ends up going wrong when everything is going right to remind myself not to be a cocky b@tch who is way too full of herself.

now i promise i'm not getting all pessimistic on you, what ends up going wrong isn't necessarily all doom and gloom. it can be something as simple as spilling water down my shirt, or getting a massive zit on my chin right before a major event.

OR perhaps while walking down the street towards home with a couple of friends after an AAF happy hour at d'vine wine bar you trip on uneven pavement falling on your face.

true story: i fell flat on my face tonight.

and right now as i'm typing this i have a bloody knee, skinned palms of my hands and a fat upper lip.

and no i wasn't beat up - it was my 4 inch heels and my life reminding me that i'm not perfect.

life's natural balance giving me a nice little dose of reality.

although i think i'm in denial of the fact that this stuff only happens to me...

or does it?

41 comments:

  1. Oh no...its not just you - that I promise!!! But it still is truly awful that you fell like that!! Everything you can hide, but that busted lip...well...ya know!! Loved the post!! I actually laugh very inappropriately when people fall ( even when they are really hurt) I don't mean too - I just can't control it. I also laugh at stories of people falling~ So thanks!!!!

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  2. I think the cement likes you a little too much, so it uses it's gravitational pull to suck you down.

    Or something.

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  3. Every single time I wear 4 inch heels...

    Hope you make a speedy recovery.

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  4. I'm right there with you. I fell UP the stairs at work the other day. Who falls UP stairs? I landed with all of my weight on my forearm. Hurt like a BITCH.

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  5. you and i share the same qualities that sidewalks and streets find attractive. it's too bad they don't have a better way of showering us with affection.

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  6. A dear roommate of mine years ago used to wake up WAY too cheerful. She'd dance around the house, quite literally. One day, I might have wished cruel things to her hyperness and she fell flat on her face (that's her fault for dancing on wood floors in socks). So, I say, look around at your friends. One of them might not be what you think! =)

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  7. I'm the same way!! When things are going too well I get really worried b/c I know something bad is going to happen to remind me that life is not perfect....

    Miss you!

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  8. When things are good usually you think...things are too good something bad will happen.

    So the law of the universe attracts something bad. Instead say things are fabulous and i deserve this!

    Change your thoughts, change your life. I should get paid for endorsement or something.

    The upside...at least you didnt chip at tooth, cus that would suck!

    4" heels? I can barely manage 1" lol.

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  9. I fall on my butt (and other parts) all the time. I have the bruises and scars to prove it. I'm fairly clumsy.

    Last year I was walking to my desk carrying Chinese food and a soda and I fell. Chinese + soda 'splosion. All over me, and all over the department Christmas tree. Rugburns like you wouldn't believe. I wish I could have said they were from something fun, but noooo...

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  10. i'm with Matt. Just put on a little windex.

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  11. It's not just you. I feel like the universe is constantly trying to keep me in check, as evidenced by the numerous bruises I have at any given time.

    If you figure out how to get around this, please let me know.

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  12. I had a comment until I read Matt's then I forgot it.

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  13. I'm not surprised considering you fell flat on your face when you first met me...maybe you just get hypnotized every time you think of me or something...

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  14. You are definitely not the only one. I feel off of a damn booth at Chili's! When I was sober! And wearing flip flops!

    Hope your lip gets better soon!

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  15. very true. 4 inches - you go girl. My limit is 3.5.

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  16. Ouch! Hope that heals quickly.

    No worries, it's not only you. Hang out with me for five minutes and you'll know there's a bigger klutz in the room. I should actually be called queen klutz.

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  17. I have a one inch scar on my knee from drunk facing last year.

    At least you were wearing heels.

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  18. It's not just you, my good friend is completely clumsy. Now let's see a pic!

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  19. Last weekend, in the span of one hour I fell on my face on the sidewalk, giving myself the four nastiest bruises I've ever seen on my knee... and getting the palm of my hands all scratched up... and then had a beer spilled on me. High five.

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  20. It's definitely not just you. It happens to the famous dudes, too. Have you ever heard Hiroshima (B B B Benny Hit His Head) by Ben Folds? It could be your theme song for the next few days until you heal.

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  21. Awwww...

    I understand. Let's get drunk together soon and fall down.

    Falls love company.

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  22. haha, definitely not just you. i have a knack for tripping (not usually falling, just doing the catch-yourself-flail) just as i go in for a handshake the first time i meet someone.

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  23. There's a Chris Brown joke in here somewhere.

    Too soon?

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  24. Man, if I had a dollar for every time my old roommate would fall down and hurt herself...I'd have a LOT of dollars.

    It's not just you. :)

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  25. you are not alone. i too am a member of the fallsdownalot club.

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  26. Oh, it's not just you. I walked into a pole the other night. Walked straight into it. I WAS ON A DATE. As soon as we parted ways I walked into a bar and got a drink by myself. I'm sure that helped the coordination.

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  27. I'm so mad I missed it!!! BOOO!!!!!! (But question... did a boy really ask you out yesterday? If so, how did I not hear about it sooner?!?)

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  28. definitely not just you. i fall at least once a week. fact.

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  29. Nope not just you. I fall all the time. You might be surpirsed at how fast fat girls can get up after they've fallen. =)

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  30. Oh my poor baby, I hurt thinking of you! And I agree with Fizzgig too,I have said it before.... you need to be more positive. Thank God you didn't break or chip a tooth. XOXO

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  31. A friend long time ago busted a few of her front teeth during her date... it could have been worst, see?

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  32. aw i totally feel your pain, i constantly fall or run into something, it's just inevitable these days.

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  33. I know what you mean, when something bad happens to me, I realize that it is because I have had a string of luck and it is fate keeping me from getting cocky.

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  34. Oh man, it's not just you. On my big trip to London/Paris I managed to trip on the cobblestones on the walk to our hotel and banged my knee up horribly.

    Some random British guy had to help me up while my boyfriend was two steps ahead of me. Yes, I still tease him about this fact. :-)

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  35. Oh man, you do have a tendency to bite it pretty well. Don't ever get too confident because karma will always knock you back in line.

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  36. Gah. Clumsyness is such a very humbling experience, isn't it?

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  37. I always wear 6 or 7 inches, yes that happened. So sorry babe :(

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  38. I feel you on this. Life's balance is never a fun thing, but at least you can laugh about it. I hope you've healed up since the last time life brought you down, though.

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  39. I've dropped a closet on myself. Ive also walked into the walls of a STRAIGHT tunnel. A straight tunnel with jaggedy rock walls.

    The sidewalk? Pfft

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