organized crime is better than unorganized crime

Thursday, May 7, 2009

so i have some announcements to make (cue drum roll).

what do diane keaton, lorraine bracco, sharon stone and edie falco all have in common?

and don't say they are all actresses, cause that's just obvious...

they were all mob wives in
the godfather trilogy, goodfellas, casino and the sopranos respectively.

you see, i have a mild obsession with gangster storylines and when i say mild i might really mean obsessive obsession.

but as well written and enjoyable the above films are to watch after much contemplating i've decided that i'm not necessarily interested in the storyline as much as i am interested in the lifestyle.

the money, the furs, the jewels, the blow, the cursing, the booze, the guns, the fast cars and the power - mostly the power.

kiss the ring.

and i don't care if the "keep it in the family" lifestyle has been sensationalized in the media. i can't help that i'm a hopeless mob groupie, and that all i have to do is watch johnny depp's new movie trailer for public enemies to get all hot and bothered.

so i have an announcement to make (cue drum roll).

i've decided that i want to become a mob wife - big hair, gold jewelery, red lipstick, and all. the whole shebang.

i wonder if there is a gangster dating website? like,, or

how does one marry a mobster?


  1. You're missing another great Mob Movie with Jason Gedric... The Last Don. AWESOME. Kirstie Alley is in it.

    And knowing someone that dated someone that was connected to the mob, I would say, stay far, far away. You get followed a lot. It's creepy.

  2. So which is your favorite?

    Mine is godfather...

  3. You'll have to find out if you are gangster enough on first

  4. I know someone in the mob ;-) I could hook y'all up.

  5. I had a friend who's very Italian and am convinced that her great uncle was in the mob. Her dad used to tell stories about taking the uncle and dropping him off in weird incredibly out of the way places. He always used to tell him "Don't look in the review mirror on your way outta here."

    Or you might want to start hanging out in Youngstown.

  6. I have some connections to the Russian mob...oh no I've said too much.

    I think "Who Wants to Marry a Mobster" would be an awesome reality show.

  7. Hahaha. I love the mob movies as well. The time period is just so fascinating to me!

    But as advice, you don't want to marry someone in the mob. My dad was best friends when he was younger with a guy who later joined. The guy's now in jail for life. So, um, maybe stay away.

  8. How about star in a mob movie? This way you could sort of live the life, but never get hurt or wind up in jail.

    Plus you'll make loads of money!

  9. There is a sign when you come down the hill on Mayfield into Little Italy. It says "Traffic Laws Photo Enforced" but someone scrawled the word "MOB" over "Photo". It was funny (and possible...OoooOOOOooooOoOoOOoo)

    Just come to LI and I'm sure you'll find a Don with which to "get it on"! ;)

  10. 17 unread posts and I chose you first for the BEST POST TITLE EVA (said in the style of a teenage girl!).

    How about we start a mob family right here??

  11. move to new jersey, befriend the New Jersey Housewives and marry one of their husband's brothers.

    Easy as 1, 2, 3.

  12. No way..... I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE like the wife in Good Fellas!

    That's me...the one who'd flush the coke down the toliet!

  13. One year I went through a mob phase and all I would read was Mario Puzzo books. I was dying to be a mob wife too!

  14. i will never kiss your ring

    i just want you to know that in advance

  15. They were actually filming Public Enemies on my block in Chicago last year. They transformed the whole street and brought in a bunch of old cars. I never got to see Depp or Bale, but I'm a dude so...

    Actually, I'd still want to hang out with Depp and Bale. I like to think we'd have some fun day-drinking together.

  16. idea #527 - i don't think i've ever seen the last don. and now i must check it out, thanks for the tip.

    matt - i think mine would have to be goodfellas but casino is a close second.

    narm - i went to that website, i hate you for tricking me - ha.

    maxie - is he hot, powerful and wears gold chains? if so set me up!

    mandy - youngstown is a great idea - do you think they have bars that say "gansters welcome" on the door for me to know where i'm going?

    saratogajean - i would be their first contestant

    lauren - yes, intrigue is the be draw here, i just can't get enough. but you are right, life in jail? not so much

    marie - i could become an actress! i think i would fit the part perfectly, i'm loud, talk like a sailor and am intimidating as hell. cast me people.

    cara - hahaha. i love you oooOOOOOooooooOOOOO's - LI would be the place to go in cleveland right?

    jen - you make a valid point, blogging could be considered mob like. you are either part of the family and you play by the rules or you are OUT.

    allison - wanna come with me?

    bow chica - i definitely wouldn't be the once flushing the coke down the toilet... i'm just saying.

    notyourplainjane - i get ridiculously into phases like that too although they usually involved movies over books, i'm lazy.

    deutlich - oh you are SO kissing my ring next weekend and you don't even know it.

    josh - hotness aside those guys are ridiculously amazing actors and have been around forever. hello, newsies, 21 jumpstreet - haha. but if you get the chance to drink with them you better invite me.

  17. Johnny Depp as Dillinger. Perfect.

    Awesome cast in that movie too.

  18. Oh Lex, you make me laugh out loud. The mob life for my baby and grandbabies......I would have to shoot you first!!

  19. You first have to move to Chicago - I'm pretty sure we have a few of them mob types here. Or you move to New York. Or you ask who is the head honcho of your local Waste Management company. hahahaa.

  20. Alexa, yeah... I must say I'm not personally in the market for a Don... I have one of those Irish fellas. But yeah, make a good red sauce and/or wear your best sundress and rouge and lounge in front of Presti's and I'm sure you'll land a Don in no time. Or you'll make Father Rocco sweat, but that's also fun right?

  21. Please tell me you'd be the kind who would be super loaded but would still go for the $10 manicures and still try to barter on the cost....

  22. That's awesome! Being a mob life seems totally glamorous, I definitely see the appeal.

  23. how to marry a mobster. By. Me.

    1) rent a billboard

    2) brag about your accent

    3) sit back and wait for all the offers to roll in.

    4) invite me to the wedding. I bet it'd be a good group of people!

  24. Can we please practice teasing your hair a foot tall when you come to DC??

  25. Ohh I like it! Good luck, keep us posted. If you make it as a mob wife I will be jealous FOREVER.

  26. I know a few people with mob connections in NYC, but I think you'd have to leave Cleveland behind... =/

  27. seriously, my best friend and i have been determined to marry into the mob for years. if you meet any single cousins of your future husband, lemme know, asap. i need some obnoxious gold jewelry as soon as i can get my paws on it.

  28. Oh my! Too funny. Your post cracked me up!

  29. Godfather Trilogy rocks and am so in love with the lifestyle too! I love their big dinners and everyone like family, and the way they it, love, loveit.

  30. i think you'd be a fabulous mob wife. and just think of the jewels! amazing! :)

  31. Is there a greek mob? !

  32. I think you would be fab at this! I would not mess with you.

  33. Mob movies are my favorite movies too! I've seen all of those and love them, you might also want to check out Scarface. You'll probably love it.

  34. You'd LOVE being in Melbourne right now! We've just had 2 back-to-back seasons of Underbelly which is basically real-life Sopranos. Awesome

    Unfortunately I think they arrested most of the Mob at the moment. I'm sure some more are around though!

    PS As a kid? It was my goal in life to grow up and be in the Mafia. haha.

  35. i come from a family of wanna-be mob wives (italians from newark nj... what else??)

    i was a mob wife for halloween one year. it's still my favorite costume :-)

  36. OMG I am rolling in laughter here.! That is great. I think I would have a hard time turning a blind eye to the guy planted in the back yard, though. good luck!

  37. LOL!!!! Alexa, you are crazy!!!! This blog was TOO funny! Hm...little, baby mob, great nieces running around....just what I want in the family!!!! LOL!

  38. I think the Real Housewives of New Jersey is probably a good place to pick up some tips. :)

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