the one where someone bought me for charity

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

i have a confession to make.

remember when the "a night out with cleveland's a plum" package was being auctioned off for AAF Cleveland's charity auction?

well my biggest fear was that no one would bid on me, which thankfully was quickly squashed when i received 6 bids my first day on the auction block. the starting bid was $50 and i ended up going 14 bids later for $115.

but it's who the 14th bidder was that i feel like i need to confess.

it was my sister.

fifteen minutes before the auction closed i had a full out freak out at my desk at work. all i could think about was some random dude (and i knew it was a dude because i had a girl on the inside telling me who placed every bid), buying me.

what if he was crazy? what if he wanted to chopped me up and scatter me all over lake erie? what if he finally met me and was like "ew, this is who i spent over $100 on?".

i just couldn't do it - all my insecurities crept up.

what i didn't expect was for my friends and family to get upset with me for having my sister buy me. they were all like, "this could have been the man of your dreams! what to you have to lose? why did you even do it if you were going to chicken out last minute?"

and then i felt guilty.

but the way i see it is if the few guys that were in a bidding war for me were really all that interested in meeting me my contact information is on this blog...

so last night was the actual "night out with cleveland's a plum". my sissy and i had dinner and drinks at winking lizard with c-rossi and then headed to progressive field to watch the indians lose to the white sox. but there was one situation that i need to mention.

we watched a full out brawl occur right next to us between a 19-year-old female white sox fan and a 55-year-old female indians fan. this 19-year-old twat was hammered and acting like a child the whole game, but at one point towards the end the 55-year-old couldn't take it anymore and turned around to address the child.

words were said, arms were flailing and they were being held back by their respected groups. at that point we thought everything was going to calm down, but then the 19-year-old twat hocked a loogie on the 55-year-old indians fan.

HOCKED A LOOGIE! who does that?

classless people that's who.

it was funny because this gentleman behind us with his 8-year-old daughter was like, "hunny, see that girl over there? that's what happens when you are uneducated and disrespectful. don't be that girl, ever"

the brat ended up being escorted out. but i swear if someone hocked a loogie on me i don't know if i would be able to control myself like the 55-year-old lady did.

so there ended up being more action in the stands than on the field. ahem, indians, ahem. all in all it was a fun night out with my sissy and the being auctioned off part was an experience in itself.

but if i ever do it again, i promise to go out with whoever "buys" me regardless if i know them or not.


  1. I knew I should've bid on your greek ass.

    countdown til your birthday.

  2. What do you expect from a CHICAGO fan?

    *Cue lots of hate in the comments for me.

  3. So you two were 2 of the 10 people at the game. We saw it on tv - so sad the stands were so empty!

  4. someone HAS hocked a loogie on me..

    and to this day it makes me FLAMEY.

    If there is ever another time some shit like that occurs -- whoever's loogie it is better watch the F out.

  5. That is so frekkin groooooss!

    And going to a game with your sister? Nothin' wrong with that:)

    And really...groooooss!

  6. I can't believe someone would hock a loogie! That's so offensive! And immature! And just plain gross.

  7. Super gross. That person should have been clobbered with rotten eggs. Ew.

    Nothing wrong dining with your sister. Sometimes I wish I had a sis to do the same!

  8. First of all, TWO FEMALES went at it? Now, that's hilarious! Second, the 55 year old should know better and if the teen was bothering her, she should've addressed security, not the girl herself. And finally, please hold no grudges against Chicago White Sox fans ... we all know that fans of any team who travel to other cities to see their teams play are in all likelihood very fanatical about their team and likely to say dumb shit ... plus, it's the Cubs fans who are completely useless anyway. hahaha.

  9. allison - countdown to my birthday t-minus 2 days!

    narm - do people actually like chicago?

    poo poo - yes, me and sissy only.

    deutlich - exactly

    TWNT - you can say that again! oh, you did : )

    wonderful - i'm going to go ahead and agree with you on the immature thing too, seriously!

    marie - if i had a rotten egg i would have thrown it at her. and i'll pretend to be your sissy.

    nilsa - haha. yes two women, it was so ridiculous. and yes, poor cubs fans.

  10. That fight was wrong on so many levels! Females, age difference, spitting, fighting in front of little children, fighting in public...sheesh!!!! Wish I was there!

  11. Ugh, I hate it when fans go at each other like that. It is completely classless and reminds me of a Jerry Springer episode. As for having your sister "buy" you. I would have done the same thing.

  12. So you didn't mention till the end there that the two fighters were FEMALES!!!!! That makes the story much more crazy! I thought they were MEN!

  13. hee, i love what the guy behind you said to his daughter. what a good "teaching opportunity" ;-)

    i don't blame you for being nervous / anxious. it's one thing in college where you at least KIND of know who will be doing the bidding, but this is just ANYONE? i'd be scared too!

  14. I'm going to get the email addresses of the guys who were bidding on you and send them your email address. Summer lovin'!

  15. Hey, I don't blame you for having Sister bid on you. There are crazies out there on the internet.

    I mean, look at us!

  16. hocked a loogie? I wouldve done something far more vulgar in return! that is sick!

  17. I'd buy you for $200.

    Your sister got a great deal.

  18. Hey, you raised money for charity and that's what counts... right?

  19. Ahh, don't worry about it. He could have bid more. And besides, by recruiting the fam you got more money for the charity didn't you? Exactly.

  20. eh i don't think it's a big deal. i would have been a little freaked out too, i know i would have. but then again if you do it again it could be fun to see who the lucky winner is :)

  21. I think that's one of the most disrespectful things someone could do, actually. What a little cunt. (Yes, I just used that word!)

    I'd have been a bit weirded out by the purchasing thing, too, but next time, go for it! It's like they said - who knows what could've happened!!!!

  22. I would have bid on you and made you cleaned my apartment. No lip either! I love that your sister got you :)

  23. Aw -- well, next year let a lucky boy win the bid :) You never know who you're going to meet. . .

    Although, nothing beats a night out with your sister, especially when there's a memorable cat fight! eek*


  24. oh that's nasty!
    what a nutjob!

  25. Soooooo...

    Did you put out?

  26. Pumpkin. That's who hocks a loogie.

    Even I'M not that unklassy.

  27. Ya, I was going to say Pumpkin, but LiLu got to it first. Either way, GROSS and super rude. Fo sho.

  28. EW! How gross!
    But what an eventful night out!

  29. i would like recognition for bidding on you.

  30. Props to the dad for pointing out to his daughter what NOT to grow up into. Priceless.

    Also, the Winking Lizard...priceless. Outside of the RnR HoF, many of my best memories of Cleveland involve that place.

  31. EW that person didnt act like a decent human being AT ALL.

    And it's nice of your sister, I would be nerve racking if someone I don't know win the bid.

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