20sb blog swap 5.0

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

welcome to the 5th ever 20SB blog swap!

today you'll be reading a post from the lollygagger who writes the chicago based blog Blah, Blah, Blah over here on the plum and you'll be able to read the post that i wrote for her blog by clicking here.

i talk about my friend
ms procrastination so you know it's worth checking out. read me.

now, onto the lollygagger's post.

When I first found out that I’d be swapping blogs with cleveland’s a plum, I was like CRAP. Not only does she have a gazillion (I’m just estimating) people who love and follow her, but she’s also funny. Welp, I’m screwed since I tend to write over and over about needing a FT job (That’s not funny. Anyone in Public Libraries? Help!) and how I get fortune cookies that say: I’m struggling and it shows.

Sooooo. I thought I’d go with the good ole 2nd date story. Ya know the one where I’m crying beforehand for other reasons. Crying is an awesome way to get yourself psyched for a date.

So I picked the place. We met at Bin36, which is basically a nice restaurant/wine place where you can either eat or just do the whole bar thing. We did the bar thing. With the lovely help of Jessica, I decided to do wine and cheese flights. Nice. Simple. Except for the fact that when we got there he said: I don’t really drink wine. I’m more of beer person. Wait. What? I’m actually a beer person myself, but who says that? Not even in a funny way.

Next. He gave me a rundown of reasons he didn’t go to the local music fest (Pitchfork) which included short sets and crowds. I’m not a big crowd person myself, but I absolutely LOVE music. I just kept thinking, if he’s complaining and it’s only the second date, then what’s next? Saying no to zoos (I like zoos) because they smell? Or no to swimming in a lake because it’s dirty. (Ok well, others may agree on that last one. There’s a big lake by me and I like to play in it. I can’t help it that stuff like that doesn’t bother me. And yes I am clean. Most of the time.) But all I know is that I need to find someone who’s a little more go with the flow or laid back, but also someone who takes the bull by the horns and makes the plans and is up for anything. They’re out there, right? Pretty please? Le sigh.

So, to be fair, the time and conversation did fly, and I did have a nice time, but I’m looking for something different, and I don’t see anything wrong with that.

And no. I’m not picky. I didn’t even complain when I had to pay for the tip. Twice.

So, how many chances do you give a guy? One date? Two? What are your deal breakers?


  1. i think this all depends on how well you know yourself. if you know what you want, then it should take one date to make a decision.

  2. I think I may have detected a note of sarcasm when you mentioned "crying is a great way to get psyched up for a date". Well, that is not entirely untrue. I am a crier by nature, I'll admit that. Seems like it doesn't take much to get me started and a lot to get me stopped at times. So, I tend to cry my eyes out before every date, mostly out of nerves. Anyway, crying before a date, I don't mind so much, it's crying during the date (unless it is because of a movie), or even worse crying profusely after a date gone wrong that I hate. I hate that almost as much as sobbing uncontrollably because I hate my job, my life, and the fact that I don't have anyone to date, which I am doing as I type this response.


  3. All I can say is if you click, you click and it works. You'll just know.

    However the guy you just mentioned does not sound like a keeper. At all.

  4. I guess it depends on how much you like him. Like if you guys connect even though he's a complainer, I'd say give it another go.

    But if you're blogging about the date because it was thaaat bad then I'd suggest forgetting about him.

  5. you should give a good guy at least thirty chances.

  6. he doesn't go to music fests because there are people at them? hmm...

  7. I think you can tell pretty early on if you click, but still - people are nervous on first dates and you're always putting your best foot forward at that point anyway. I think three dates is a good chance to give yourself time to decide if you click or have any chemistry, or if they're interesting enough to keep getting to know. It's been awhile since I've been on a series of dates like this though, so... my opinion's all hypothetical :)

  8. If he's a good kisser, I'll go out with him just so we can make out later.

    But if not, if we're not clicking by the third date--that's it. No more chances.

  9. This is definitely one of the deal breakers. I mean, I like my guys open minded and easy going. These kind of guys will bore and annoy me to death in the future so lets not even take it further.

  10. If they blow it on the first or second date, no more dates. I think, as women, we expect men to eventually act differently.

    Speaking from past experience, if a guys not that great on a first or second date, but I think I like him (and there aren't any other prospects at the moment) I tend to give them another chance thinking "oh well now I'll see how truly spectacular they are." and then I end up dating a guy I'm only halfway into for a year. Or two.

    But I'm just saying.

  11. If this is the same guy that was a dud on the first date, time to move on! Seriously...

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