this morning i got in my car and it took a really long time to turn over, and when it finally did it was just put-putting along. i couldn't get it to accelerate and all sorts of check engine, transmission, tire pressure lights were going off.
so i pulled back into my spot and my parking lot attendant came over to see what was going on. not being a car person and already annoyed at the situation i flatly said, "who the fuck knows".
well we opened the hood and this is what we found.
so basically an animal, which i later found out was a possum, ate my car.
ATE MY CAR!!!
since when are there possums running wild around downtown cleveland? this shit only happens to me.
well maybe not only me because it also happened to the overnight parking attendant who caught the possum in action late last night on her car and shooed it away. well, she shooed it away to my car where it snacked on my wiring.
so as i stood on west 9th shaking my fist in the air and watching my car, my baby, get towed away i received an email from your friend and mine, narm, who had just seen my twitter update whining about an animal eating my car and it read as follows:
what the hell eats the wires of a car? was it a blind pig? or a winking lizard? or a flying monkey? or a velvet dog?
you totally aren't in the mood for joking about this yet, are you?
now this email, while funny, is just downright hilarious for us clevelanders because all of those animals he mentioned up there are all actual names of bars in my neighborhood - he's ridiculous.
while the email made me laugh, i still have no idea how much i'm going to have to put on my credit card to make my car work again which makes me sad. here's to hoping montrose volvo is an honest dealership!
anyways, it happened, a possum ate my baby.
but i have more important things to worry about right now, like how many beers i'm going to drink at the dave matthews band concert i'm going to tonight at blossom...