emotipros... and cons

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

if you don't follow me on twitter you may not know that i'm currently in the middle of getting my butt kicked by a bad ass flu.

thankfully my blog knight in shining armor peter dewolf sent me a very funny email yesterday in response to a post i wrote last week about men using emoticons that is pure gold and needed to be shared.


hopefully i'll be back to my normal awesome self very soon.

______________________________________________________________________

dear alexa,

normally when we chat or e-mail or i comment (or guest post) on your blog i am all about the love and the niceness and the "hiiiiiiii muffin"ness, but not this time. no no no.

this time it is real.

this time it is serious.

i'm even eschewing capital letters, because i know they frighten and confuse you. (like clothing with colour.)

you recently posted about hating emoticons.

you said that "9 out of 10 time" it irks you when a man uses them. now even though i assume you are counting me in that other 10% (because i am explosively awesome on a variety of levels), i still must disagree.

sometimes, because i say 435 ridiculous things a day, i need to use emoticons to show that i really don't mean those things. well, that i don't mean most of them.

for example:

"and then i banged your sister. ; )"

without the ; ). you might think that i actually "banged" your sister.

when obviously i did not.

it was your cousin.

also i tell people 50 times a day "i'm adorable. : )"

without the : ) i seem like a jerk. i don't want that.

especially since i am really just so adorable.

: )

see what i did there?

you also said, "for whatever reason i think it makes the typer of said emoticon immediately less masculine..."

come. on.

chuck norris models his masculinity on me.

as does rosie o'donnell.

in closing, i think it was henry wadsworth longfellow who said, "use fucking emoticons it you want."

so i do.

adoringly,
peter

____________________________________________________________________

smart ass.

23 comments:

  1. Peter's right -- he tells me he's adorable about 50 times a day. Most of the time without emoticons though...

    ReplyDelete
  2. What if you wrote...

    "I banged your sister, LOL".

    does that work? or does that still seem like I banged someones sister?

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  3. Something tells me that sign off was a typo... he meant "adorably, peter."

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  4. I swear, Peter can bring the jokes like no other.

    He's a good egg.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think "I banged your sister, LOL," would imply that you actually DID bang said sister.

    I just wanted to say 'banged.'

    ReplyDelete
  6. oh noooooes! The flu! Feel better fast! I'm not getting it!

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  7. I don't understand why confusion over whether your sister was banged is a problem. I'd still rather be vague about bangage than drop a smiley face.

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  8. love.

    ;)

    (see...I loved, but not in a creepy, I collect your hair, kind of way)

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  9. Haha. Love it.

    Mostly:

    "chuck norris models his masculinity on me.

    as does rosie o'donnell."

    ReplyDelete
  10. I have one thing to say to this post:

    :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. omg narm is that a penis and boobs?!?

    hahahahaha

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  12. jenn: I don't think I like your tone.

    Allison M: I don't know you, but you seem smart.

    Matt: Do you have a sister?

    LiLu: I feel like you understand me.

    Deutlich: Thanks, lady!

    Doniree: Comments should all be directed to ME. Not other commenters.

    Fizzgig: this comment has nothing to do with me, so I'm going to ignore it.

    f.B.: Question it no longer, the sister was banged.

    Ben: We need a secret 902 handshake.

    Liebchen: Don't tell Rosie I said that.

    amindinmotown: Thanks! I don't know where the spaces should go in your name.

    AAB: alexa is going to stop seeing you as a potential mate if you keep that up.

    narm: You got a little penis on your comment. Right... there...

    alexa: It concerns me that you don't recognize those things.

    I feel like a Cleveland rockstar whenever I post here. Boobie Gibson, gimme a call!

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  13. Love it!! And Chuck Norris jokes never get old!

    And Feel better Alexa!!

    (I apparently like "!" today)

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  14. oh lord was that awesome.

    i'm so sorry you're sick... gah, pbandtunflu!!

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  15. oh peter.

    peter peter peter.

    (hope you feel better soon alexa!)

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  16. I can tolerate some emoticon, like winks and smiley. But when a guy uses T_T I feel like kicking his balls.

    Which, you know, very japanese dominatrix of me..

    LOVE Narm's creation of boobs and penis btw.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Bwahaha! Awesome. Best. Awesome. :D

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  18. Yes, I don't even know Peter, but now I think he's adorable too. ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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