bye bye parking lot

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

dear crittenden court parking lot,

we need to talk... it's not you it's me.

i'm sorry, we need to break up.

i understand that it's been almost four years that we've been together, but i've found someone new and closer to home.

the parking lot in my apartment building.

i know that my new fancy indoor, "don'thavetowalktwoblockstogettotheyuppiemobile", parking lot is $50 more a month but i think it's worth it.

i mean, do i have to list out that crap that you have put me through over the last four years?

let's jog your memory:
1. the multiple dings and scratches caused by other cars parking too close to mine
2. people leaving hot cards on my car windshield when it's raining causing them to stick like glue to the glass once the car dries.
3. my car doors freezing shut more times than i can count when i had my jetta
4. falling on the ice so hard in your never plowed lot that i actually dislocated my shoulder.
5. someone writing "reserved" in the salt residue on my car door cause i apparently was in their FAKE reserved spot.
6. a POSSUM EATING its way through the wires of my engine and hood insulation!
7. being held up at gun point this summer. (true story, i just chose not to blog about it)

so do you really have to ask why we are breaking up?

didn't think so.

it's been real, it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun.

peace out,



  1. Holy crap! GUNPOINT?!!? OK, def glad you're moving outta that lot!

  2. You can't throw us a one-liner about being held up at gunpoint and leave it at that. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??? Spill it, girl!

    (I kid. I'm guessing you didn't blog about it because there's nothing humorous to say about being held up. And this blog is a light-hearted fun place. Guns have no place in the Plum!)

  3. ALEXA! Held up at gunpoint? I can completely understand not blogging about it, that would have scared the crap out of me. The extra $50 a month, totally worth it.

    The fact that you won't have to scrape your car this winter also helps.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. After having my car broken into this year, I will never park it outdoors again. If I'm going to Tremont/Ohio City, I'll cab it.

    Yeah, the parking garage is a huge chunk of change that I would rather be shopping for shoes with, but I cannot afford another broken window. Thankfully, my lot is just at the end of my block and across the street. Even if my car insurance went up FORTY FREAKING dollars a month JUST by moving downtown. Grrr.

    Yeah, and Thursday (if I see you), you'll have to tell me this gun story. That's some serious crazy shit.

    BTW, you forgot to add to your list the possum who ate through your wires... just saying. Not like I stalk your blog or anything. ;-)

  6. Wow, Alexa! Being held up at gun point? That's crazy!

    I'm officially adding this scenario to my "reasons I don't live in a city" list!

  7. rachel - yes, it was needed!

    nilsa - you are EXACTLY spot on as to why i didn't blog about it. there's no room for gun's on the plum.

    mandy - i'll just have less money for shopping, which is frankly probably a good thing..

    mel - i SO feel you, and yes i'll tell you the story on thursday. and THANKS for reminding me about the possum, i thought about it yesterday and totally forgot to add it to the post. that story was KEY!

  8. Yeah, I rememeber the night of the hold up. Maxie and I were worried about you. Glad you are ok and in a safe lot.

  9. I agree. The $50 is worth it. Possums? Really?

  10. Sounds like this break-up is long over due. Why do we hang on to parking that is just no good for us? Glad to see you are moving on. Hope the ex-parking lot does the same :).

  11. you have possums in Cleveland?

    seriously? Get outta here.

  12. Safety is priceless.

    But not scraping your car off in the winter is even better.

  13. First let me say, I LOVE breakups on blogs. LOVE.

    I can't believe you got held up. Happened to me once while working at a Whataburger in El Paso. I almost peed myself. I'm glad you found a new lot!

  14. OMG SCARY. jeeeeeez. i'm sorry. glad you're ok.

    dc is obvs not as cold/snowy as the cleve, but OH MY LANDS parking inside makes such a difference. no scraping windshields! no 150 degree car interior in the summer! TOTALLY WORTH IT.

  15. Held up at gun point??? Holy crap woman I am SO glad you are ok!!!

    Also, I believe they now owe you a brand spankin new car.

  16. opened Pandora's Box! I thought you weren't going to bring it up....ever. You must still profess your love for Cleveland....not the parking lot.

  17. Oh god, that's so scary. But I'm glad you found a new spot.

    And...a possum? Really?

  18. Lordy, held at gunpoint?? I wish I could've given you a hug.

  19. Yay for new relationships (boo for guns!)!!

    OMG #2 I HATE! When I was at school, this tanning place always left them on cars and they finally hit mine. I was SO pissed that it dried and was all crusty on my windshield so I called to tell them how annoyed I was and that even if I WAS looking for a tanning place..I sure wouldn't go to them!

    I told them I lived on campus and had nothing to get rid of the dried on paper. The girl was a jeeerk and told me to come by and she would come out and windex my windshield to get it off. Well, I took a drive over and my windshield got a nice little bath :)

  20. i would definitely be breaking up with that parking lot too, yikes. stay safe woman!

  21. I would be running for the hills away from that parking lot too! Sheesh, definitely safety first.

    Not having a car covered in snow is just a perk :-)

  22. It's about freakin time! Once you go heated garage, you will never go back!

  23. That's so scary about being held up there this summer! I'd be moving garages, too, and it sounds like you will be a lot happier!

  24. Welcome to the garage!! I can't believe you got help up...I would have left that parking lot THAT day! I'm such a baby and get scared in the garage and the stairwells!!

  25. The possum is the best story.

    (I'm glad you are safe but holy gun point.)

  26. I'm glad you are OK, and glad you are here in cleve.

  27. Those awful surface lots are what make the Warehouse District the “potentially ridiculously awesome but often-times underwhelming” place that it is. Downtown Cleveland would be magnitudes better off without them.

  28. Honey....I am so so HAPPY that I was able to find you an AMAZINGGG space!!! I had no clue that you had such a terrible parking experience over there!! Great blog~ Happy Holidays!!!!



Comments are cool. This is a fact.