expectations

Saturday, January 31, 2009

so yeah last night sucked. sucked.

i had been looking forward to the black keys concert at the agora for months. a huge group of my friends were going and on paper it was going to be a great night.

we started out at the maproom where a handful of blueberri stoli's set the pre-concert mood for me. around 9ish we headed to the venue. the show technically started at 8 but with two opening band the keys weren't going to take the stage till 10ish.

we would get there with plenty of time right?

wrong.

the place was packed - there wasn't a single seat available. you couldn't stand in the aisles, which left the only standing room shoulder to shoulder way in the back of the theater. i'm short so i couldn't even see over everyone let alone the frunking stage. i mean i heard patrick and dan so i knew they were on stage but i couldn't tell you what either one of them was wearing.

lesson learned - if you are a real fan of the band you are seeing you need to go with mutual fans not people that have only heard one song that they listened to the day of the show.

i ended up spending a lot of the show outside of the theater by the bar cause of the lack of seating/standing room. which just flat out put me in a pissy mood. the shots did help though.

another bad decision was going to maproom after the concert instead of bier market with other friends. it was so lame, everyone coupled up and i basically i wanted to poke my eyes out with a cocktail sword.

it just sucked cause friday night was something that i had been looking forward to and it was an utter let down. i ended up getting emotional and reminiscent and calling a bunch of my canton friends and made my sister listen to me vent and get all blubbery.

ya know, just a standard friday.

not.

you can't be 100% on every night i guess.

here's to hoping that the all day superbowl party at mulberry's tomorrow will make up for my lackluster friday.

ain't nothing but a g-thang baby

Friday, January 30, 2009

on wednesday one of my favorite ladies that make up my blosse brookem participated in a little ABC game on her blog where she was assigned a letter from one of my newest blog loves Lilu. once you choose to participate, a letter is assigned to you and you have to make a list of ten things that you love starting with the letter.

i'm sure you get the picture... moving on.
so i got the letter G. which is well, great, grand, good. and glorious.

side note: if you want to participate, leave a comment on this post and i will assign you a letter (make sure i have your email). you then write about 10 things you love that begin with your assigned letter and post them on your blog. when people comment on your posted list, you give them a letter and the chain continues on and on.


now, may i present you with a blog post sponsored by the letter G

1. google - this one is filed under the obvious category. how can you not love google? think about it, if it wasn't for google i wouldn't have this blogging platform, my google reader, gchat, gmail, and let's not forget to mention that it's a fabulous stalking research tool.






















2.
the gap - for almost 5 years of my life i worked at the gap in belden village mall in canton which actually ended up closing last year - r.i.p. gap. obviously it was a big part of my life and i may or may not have been obsessed with the company. these days i probably enjoy banana republic more but you simply can't go wrong with a pair of gap jean and a favorite tee. oh! and i can't forget their ads both tv and print, they've had some great campaigns over the years.




























3. garlic
- if i had to choose only one seasoning to cook with for the rest of my life i would choose this fabulous bulb. roasted, diced, chopped, powdered, and whole - garlic is the base for almost everything i cook. the more the better.
























4.
guitar hero - somehow even though i don't own a gaming system to allow me to play guitar hero on a regular basis i am AMAZING at this game. i can just pick up and play the hard level i can only imagine how good i would be if i could practice. it would be bad if i did have one though because i would get nothing else done in my life except play guitar hero.























5. geisen haus
- this is my all time favorite bar in canton/north canton, actually probably my favorite bar ever. it's a dive and a half, but with great food, a great jukebox and peanuts and popcorn all over the floor.

this place has given me too many fond memories to count. at the height of my friends and i frequenting "the haus" we owned the place, going there almost daily (oh to be young). i even got the owner to special order me miller high life cause they didn't carry it, it was my own secret stash. also, i found out that once i moved up to cleveland they stopped carrying rasberri stoli because no one drank it but me.

my german stein still hangs on the wall behind the bar with "sexy lexy" engraved on it.














6.
gerard butler - i think the picture speaks for itself, such a hot manly man. growl.




























7.
guns and roses - who hasn't danced around fists in the air to some classic GN'R? welcome to the jungle, sweet child of mine, patience and paradise city - love. although the honorable G musician mention must go to genesis.

when i look into your eyes...





8.
groundhog day - "phil? phil connors? phil connors, i thought that was you!" - this is one of my all time favorite movie comedies. bill murray's got me babe.























9.
the giving tree (by shel silverstein) - this is my favorite book of all time. if you aren't familiar with the children's story it's about giving till you can't give anymore and doing it all for the person that you love. it's the tale of ultimate sacrifice and even thinking about the book i get that "oh shit i'm gonna cry" burning behind my eyes. it's just such a beautiful story. if someone ever gave me an autographed copy of the giving tree i would melt.

"once there was a tree... and she loved a little boy"




























10. greece
- for those of you new to my blog i'm greek! 100% greek actually, which basically means i was raised in the greek orthodox church and have a big fat greek family with lots of relatives named nick and gus. also, being greek means that not only do i have a dark complexion, but it also means that i have big boobs and a butt.

OPA! OPA! OPA! - honorable G mention: GYRO'S, duh.

and yes, i was in a greek dance troupe when i was younger, and i will be breaking plates at my wedding.
















annnnnnnnnnd i'm done. have a good weekend kids!

signed sealed delivered

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

in continuing my "back in the day" themed post from yesterday, i laughed out loud today when my sissy reminded me of how i used to sign my name when i was in middle school/junior high - the height of my M.A.S.H days of course.

what can i say, i'm a romantic at heart.

so while i was replicating the girlie "alexa" today all over my notebook i couldn't do anything but laugh at it's ridiculousness. i can guarantee that that little wrap around "a" to cross the "x" into a heart didn't get me any A's on my 6th grade social studies test.

i got to thinking though (scary) about how much my signature has changed over the years.

below is how i neatly sign my first name now. emphasis on neatly because in all reality i have the worst chicken scratch. people tend to actually not to be able to read my handwriting unless i'm trying really hard to make it legible.

pretty standard i think - at least there isn't a heart at the end of the "x"

notice how my name is printed - does anyone still write in old school cursive anymore? like the cursive where the capital "T" and "F" look not like a "T" and "F" should ever look?

so while i'm at it i figure i might as well show my formal signature. the following is how i sign everything from my taxes, to my checks, and my bar tabs.

yeah, i can't read it either - and it's my signature.

my mom is always on my case about how much she hates my signature. how "weird and pointless it is". but i can't help how my signature has evolved. plus, who wants to actually spend the time to write out their full name?

i sure as hell don't.

i have better things to do - like drink wine till my teeth are purple.

but i wanted the mansion

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

yesterday when a friend of mine helped me rediscover the awesomeness that is the love calculator it got me thinking about some other adolescent games. (after i plugged 9 names with mine into the love calculator of course)

let's take a trip back to junior high and high school shall we?

i don't know what it is about silly horoscopes and cosmopolitan quizzes that make you think about your crush in relation to a. b. c. and d. multiple choice options. i guess it gives teenagers across the country hope.

but let us not forget the ultimate school fortune telling tool - M.A.S.H.


you ALL know what i'm talking about here, don't pretend that you don't.


when you filled out the M.A.S.H. survey (mansion, apartment, shack or house) your life is immediately planned out for you.
let's look for a second at what a sample M.A.S.H game looked like for me back in 1996, when i was the ripe age of 16.


M.A.S.H.

crushes:
chris, joe, john, brian, dan

occupation: singer, actress, advertising, president, anchor woman

car: range rover, mercedes, volvo, saab, bmw

colors:
white, ivory, red, turquoise, black

age for marriage:
24, 25, 26, 27, 28

number of kids:
0, 1, 2, 3, 4

city:
cleveland, nyc, denver, canton, boston

honeymoon:
hawaii, london, greece, virgin islands, australia


so if i look at this as a 28 year old there are some options that simply aren't possible anymore. meaning that (gasp) it's all bullshit.

M.A.S.H? well i do live in an apartment.

those crushes? 4 out of 5 of them are married and the 5th one is gay - um, no.

occupation? well technically i'm in marketing but advertising is in the same family - win!

car? i drive a volvo s40 - win!

colors? that was supposed to be for your wedding dress - still single but i had a white debutantes ball dress. doesn't count does it?

age for marriage? looks like i thought i was going to be married a lot younger than the reality of it all. that is unless i get married sometime between now and july 1st - 28 won't be happening either. any takers?

number of kids? that's a goose egg folks.

city? cleveland - woo!

honeymoon? considering i've been to four out of the five places already i'll consider that a win.

my old M.A.S.H's also prove that i didn't marry johnny depp either. go figure.

now it's your turn - tell me your M.A.S.H/cosmo quizzes/love calculator stories.


like demi moore, but not

Monday, January 26, 2009

saturday night was quite a doozy, one of those nights that i don't want to log onto my online banking to see how much money i spent.

one of those nights that i don't want to look at my sent text messages cause i'm sure almost all of them were inappropriate.

{sigh}

when i woke up sunday morning after spending an evening at cadillac ranch and harbor inn with my friends i had no pants on. which actually isn't abnormal - muffin even mentioned it in her plumhead survey.

but when i walked out of my bedroom trying to make sure i didn't lose any of my belongings i noticed a funny little trail starting at my apartment door and ending at the stairs leading to my bedroom.

at the door (on the inside thankfully) was my purse.

followed by my coat a few feet later.

next came my heels.

my scarf.

my jeans.

my blackberry (on the floor).

my (black) shirt.

my earrings.

and finally my bra.

one would think this was a hot little strip down on the way to my bedroom for some fun sexy time - but i was alone.

shit, i hope i was alone.


update:
my dear friend narm pretty much has the prequel to this here post over at his blog - i think he's pretty much figured me out.

for the love of kwan

Thursday, January 22, 2009

in november i wrote a post about the ridiculous billboard across the street from my apartment promoting the US Figure Skating Championship that is being held in cleveland this year.

{style. attitude. sequins. 'nuff said.}

well the time has come, and the championship will be going on all week in cleveland at the
Q. lucky for me my friend genna had a pair of tickets for wednesday night's competition and she was nice enough to give them to me - thanks lady! so i picked up georgia peach after work, and we were off.

i have always been a fan of figure skating - do i really have to remind you of the tanya harding/nancy kerrigan incident of '94? didn't think so. but as much of a fan i am i have never seen a real life competition until now....

i like love ice skating!

observation #1: as we were getting situated in our seats we realized that something was missing...

noise - the silence was deafening.

where were the announcers?

i realized that i was so used to scott hamilton and dorothy hamill telling me move by move what the skaters were doing when i watched figure skating on tv, that without them i was completely lost.

was it a triple salchow, double flip, quadruple toe loop or the leg up in the air spinning around really really fast thingy?

i had no clue - although we were educated enough to know when someone fell on their ass.

observation #2: unless you have the arm of cal ripken jr, throwing a large teddy bear for the skaters from the club level to the ice is a bad idea. mostly because it will not make it to the ice. instead it will land on an unassuming man's head sitting in the level below.

the snort/laugh that came out of me was heard throughout the whole arena. i don't care how quite it was, i could not keep it in. hilarious.

after a few hours georgia peach and i had our fill of the oksana baiul clones, and while we were walking out saw a few of the athletes winding down on the main concourse being goofy. those crazy kids.

ice skaters, just like us... but with sequins.

meh.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

i'm staring at a blank computer screen.

and i have no idea what to write about - actually that's a complete and utter lie.

i have PLENTY of things i want to tell you guys about. plenty.

but i just can't.

not on this blog at least.

i'm stuck in this weird blogger dead zone - somewhere between being the young professional that if you know me you know i write this blog and the agitated 28 year old who just wants to vent to her readers.

yup, that's all i got.

but please answer me this, (so i don't feel like i'm the only person that has to censor themselves)...

if you could write about one topic on your blog that you currently don't touch with a ten foot pole what would it be?

i drank the kool-aid

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

there once was a time in my life when my biggest decision of the day was which pair of jean shorts and jellies i wanted to wear to play outside in.

now i have real shit to worry about.

there also was a time in my life when my biggest decision of the day was which flavor of kool-aid my neighborhood friends and i (i'm looking at you KJ), were going to sell at our kool-aid stand.


and now they don't even sell ecto-cooler! the humanity!


confession: back in the day i was what one could call a kool-aid stand professional. between myself, my sister and all of our neighborhood friends there was always a stand open on my block.

we would even hold contests - with competing stands set up right across the street from each other to see who could make the most money. we were like little entrepreneurs.

lucky for me though i had the secret ace in my pocket. i would take the time to call my dad at his office and ask him to come buy some lemonade. and an hour or so later he would roll up in his porsche convertible like a bad ass, hand me a twenty dollar bill, drink a dixie cup full of flavored water and drive away.

i win!

[sidenote: still to this day when i drive by a kool-aid stand i will always stop and give the kids $5 or $10 for a drink. the excitement on their faces are priceless]

i was also savvy enough to set-up a stand on the morning of the professional football hall of fame grand parade day. seeing that the house i grew up in was a few blocks away from the parade route we got tons of walking traffic. i would make a serious killing that saturday. people were parched, i was providing a service!

so here's the deal, i was obviously good at selling kool-aid when i was 8 so why can't i sell it when i'm 28?


recalling my roots i've come up with a new business plan - with a twist.


what if on weekend nights i start selling kool-aid, but for adults?

i live in arguably the busiest party district in downtown cleveland, so i'll still be setting up shop in front of my "house". and who doesn't like a nice little road pop as you walk from bar to bar? those frat-tastic stripped shirt boys and hoochies wearing tube tops in january will drink this stuff up. maybe i'll even make jello shots for when the maproom line gets too long?

i'm going to make a killing.

if sketch balls can sell wilted roses and feather boas on the corner why can't i sell vodka infused kool-aid?

i'll worry about the legal ramifications later - let me dream people.

money costs too much

Monday, January 19, 2009

normally my monday post is a recap of my weekend actives, but i had different plans this past weekend.

the only thing i wanted to do this weekend was NOT go out, stay in and save money.

see, i have a lot of fun events coming up (detroit, jumpback ball, nyc, concerts, weddings, etc), and instead of funding these trips via my credit card i figured that if i stayed in this past weekend and this upcoming weekend i could save a few hundred bucks bankrolling at minimum the detroit trip.

in theory this was a great idea.

unfortunately though i don't think it's in my DNA to not spend money.

thursday night, for those of you who follow me on twitter and have read my last blog post know that i went out drinking - pretty hard in fact.

i ended up spending $75 on thursday, not exactly saving huh?

friday night was a bit lighter on the wallet because bird, the klutz and i checked out the movie bride wars at tower city while sneaking in a food court dinner - classy indeed - but i only spent $15.

saturday night muffin and i had a date planned to check out notorious at crocker park and grab some dinner afterwards. dinner at hyde park prime steakhouse and the bottle of wine that accompanied it probably wasn't the best money saving decision but i had fun - i also spent $60 in the process.

so while i theoretically "stayed in" all weekend not going out like a rockstar i still somehow managed to spend $150!!

i give up - this experiment was a huge FAIL.

i don't know what to do. i'd ask you all for tips but i already know the answer to that question - don't go out and spend money.

but what the heck am i supposed to do? sit at home and twiddle my thumbs?

sigh.

but shifting gears onto something extremely rad, the over 4,000 members of 20 something bloggers think that this little blog here is the best up and comer blog, (started in 2008). holy crap i don't believe i won!! my amazing blogging peers voted, and i'm so proud to have received the award.

many congratulations to all the winners and finalists!

what a great way to start the week, hopefully it'll help me forget about my lack of financial willpower
.

you sure can hydrate a pizza

Thursday, January 15, 2009

so my coworkers constance, matt and i went out for happy hour which turned into "late night" hour - we went from 5pm to 11pm. wait, what time is it?

anyways the thing is, is that i couldn't possibly leave my laptop in the car because i didn't plan ahead for our impromptu happy hour - if i left it outside all night it would freeze!

....and no one does that to their baby.


so now i find constance and i at the maproom, across the street from my apartment, using the free wifi.

perhaps i'll buy my laptop a shot - she really does deserve it. i mean, she lets me communicate with all of you. the least i can do is get her a few drinks, right?

time the crunk out, the cavs just lost ---- to the friggin' bulls!!!

see, i'm live blogging, (play by play action required). it's almost like you all are here with me...

"sure constance i'll have a patron xo shot"

"no jessica, i don't think you should be wearing sequins this time of year"

"wow, i wish that those seven guys weren't all wearing the exact same pea coat"

"are striped skull caps still in?"

"business cards can get printed anywhere, by anyone, with anything on them - which doesn't mean there are legit. maybe i can make business card wallpaper for my bathroom."

constance: if you could sum up maproom in three words what would you say?
donkers: beer, chicks, shots

"where everybody knows your drink"

i'm going to go ahead and agree with the last statement because i simply can't walk into this bar without having friends here.

no complaints.

happy friday kids. xoxo

seriously, don't touch my car

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

i have been parking my car at the same parking lot in downtown cleveland for the last three years.

it's your standard parking lot/garage with a fair amount of uncovered parking spaces at the street level and then three (or four) levels of underground parking options. the majority of the first two underground levels are reserved spots for the employees in the surrounding office buildings but there are still general admission spots too.

normally i park at the street level but with all of this blizzard weather going on it isn't rocket science to realize that parking underground is the best idea.

as i mentioned earlier there are a lot of prime reserved spots on the first underground level and they are reserved by a sign stating the obvious. but there's a glitch in the matrix because there's one lone prime corner spot without a reserved sign on the first level. it's basically hidden and if you didn't have a reserved spot would never even go down that aisle.

i know this little gem because my old boss at
Scene Magazine used to park in it for years, prior to his transfer - never getting in trouble. it's basically hidden because if you didn't have a reserved spot you would never even go down that aisle.

i had been parking way underground with the rest of the non-reserved parking spot schmucks when i remembered the secret spot. i scoped it out in the morning and evening never seeing a car parked there.

the spot was mine! - or so i thought.

i've been parking the yuppie mobile in the secret spot over night for a week or so never having a problem, there haven't even really been cars in that whole area.

now remember this spot hasn't had a reserved sign on it for three years.

yesterday morning i get to my car in the "secret spot" around 8:15am and notice that someone had written in the salt on my car, "reserved!".

um.. um... um...

and there's also a post-it note stating, "do not park here, space reserved!"

i look around me at the empty spots everywhere, during prime get to work hours mind you, and i'm thinking WTF, why is my spot so special?

am i on candid camera?

then it dawned on me, what if someone had been doing the same thing as me, sneaking the spot during the winter and is now pissed that i ruined his plan too! he** wanted to take action.

i mean, if it really was actually reserved, 1. there would be a sign, and 2. i would be alerted by the lot management to move my car -- right?

so last night i folded and didn't park in that spot, frankly if this post it note/write "reserved" ON MY CAR dude was that ballzy to touch my car what else would he do? i don't want anyone hurting my yuppie mobile, no way.

i'm having second thoughts though, and this may just turn into a parking spot war. i need to investigate my options.

but so what do you think? should i back down, not parking in the spot, or keep trying to beat the reserved parking system?

any random parking garage horror stories to share?

**i totally assume that it is a man - not sure why, just do.

the plum got a face lift

click away from your google reader people, cause i have a brand spankin' new blog design!!!

a few months ago i was lucky enough to
win a contest that was being held over at so chic design for a FREE custom blog design. i must have done something right that day cause winning the contest was extremely rad.

and ta-da!!!
you're looking at the fruit of the wonderful teresa's labor - believe you me she had to put up with 2736 emails from me asking questions and tweaking requests. she's a saint and i highly recommend her if you are interested in a new design.

you can find teresa at so chic design, but for only a little longer because she is in the process of starting a new design studio venture - splendid sparrow. it will be launching very soon so check back often to submit a quote.


so what do you think?


now for the die hard clevelander's out there - no, the header isn't a literal representation of the cleveland skyline. you have to work with me here. the buildings on the left are close right? ha.


it's a whimsical representation - i mean there isn't a plum flying over the skyline in real life either
.

so while i'm on a happy new blog design high i wanted to quickly give mention to a great fundraising event that will be going on sunday evening at bar cento/bier market in ohio city. a longtime plum reader is hosting a coat drive to benefit the west side catholic center because let's be honest here, it's freakin' cold out.

you can drop off a coat and stay for some food and wine. and if you mention the west side catholic center anytime during the day a portion of your bill (15%) will be donated to the cause - sounds like my kind of fundraiser.

check the event website for additional information and be sure to stop by the event on sunday.

ALSO i've been seeing all over the blogosphere that it's delurking day - you know who you are lurkers. it's time for you to show yourself....

happy wednesday kids.


i love you like a fat kid loves cake

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

the "L" word is thrown around like lebron throws the basketball through the hoop these days. (for you non cavs fans, that's a lot)

for example, i love these shoes. i love this black keys album. i love my perfume.

see where i'm going with this? i feel like the word "love" at times gets diluted.

i've thought this for awhile now, actually since college when one lazy sunday i was sitting with my roommates (teen, d-ray and seifs), when we decided that saying i love you was so 1995. there had to be a better way to show someone you cared.

so instead of saying the normal and generic, "bye, teen - love you!", a new rule was made.

my roommates and i told each other daily that we were pretty.

yes, PRETTY.

when you roll out of bed on a sunday morning feeling like hell from the night before due to the 12-pack of milwaukee's beast best light that you consumed, you have a black 'X' on your cheek that transfered during your sleep from your hand, when you walk into the kitchen and run into your roommate you get the best greeting, "oh lex, you are extra pretty today. gimmie a hug."

but it didn't stop at pretty, we said any ridiculous (at times false) compliment to just brightened our days.

for example, "bye teen have fun at class - you are the prettiest, skinniest most popular girl on campus. now hurry home so we can hit up $1 well drinks at flannigan's".

see, now isn't that better than "i love you". who doesn't want to be told they are skinny and popular?!?! i urge you to try it out with your friends, significant other or coworker today - you'll be surprised how far a simple, sincere compliment will go.

and for the record, i think every person reading this blog is pretty.

really pretty - even the boys.

wine + bacon = good

Sunday, January 11, 2009

last night my dear friends muffin and captain hosted a wine tasting and bacon party with a twist.

everyone brought one bottle of wine priced $15 or under in a brown paper bag so that no one can tell what kind of wine it is. everyone lines up around a table and tastes the wine one at a time rating it either high, moderate or low. the white and the red with the highest rating by the group is winning wine - easy peasy.


part of the fun though is realizing that expensive isn't always best - i sneaked in a $30 bottle of red that didn't score very well at all. the win bottle of white ended up being a $3.99 chardonnay from drug mart. we are classy winos apparently.

on top of the copious amounts of wine that we all consumed there was a food side to the party. muffin chose the glorious pork product of the gods bacon as the secret ingredient and everyone had to bring an appetizer that included bacon. i mean do i really have to describe how good this vegetarians nightmare appetizer spread was? iiiiiiit's bacon!

after all the wine was tasted and bacon was eaten it was time for pure nonsense like stupid human tricks. i learned an interesting little tidbit about my friend drew last night that involves his ear. i think this 10 second you tube video says it all. (yes, i know it is sideways, tilt your head people - work with me)



try to do that with your ear. i'm serious, try - right now. stick your ear IN your ear. not as easy as it looks is it. after this i'm on a personal mission to find all of my friends stupid human tricks and get them on tape. who's next?

all the brown bagged bottles of wine ready for tasting

big pete (who was home visiting from denver) giving her wine the thumbs up

the winning wines with their owners mitch and erin

all the girls getting together for a group shot

our fine hostess muffin and the klutz

the night could pretty much be summed up like this, MOB with forks behind her ears

good times, my friends good times.

i'm so not loving it

Friday, January 9, 2009

there's no featured blogger for this friday but we do have a guest blogger here at the plum. today's post was written by my good friend the jerk. he's grumpy and opinionated by nature and one day when he was ranting to me about something, i told him to shut up and write a guest post about it. which is exactly what you will find below - he makes a damn good point if i do say so myself...

At what point did we as Americans join hands and demand that McDonald's put cream and sugar in our coffee for us? Weren't we fine before?


I know I was. But something has changed in the last year that made the corporate fat cats at MickieDee's decide that we weren't competent enough to stir our own drinks. I don't know what it is, but its become a pain in the ass.

Personally, I don't like cream or sugar in my coffee, but I have to order it for coworkers. But the employees at the Golden Arches don't care who you are. They just want to know what you want in your coffee, and if that means cutting you off in mid sentence, so be it.

"Can I have a number 2 with a Coffee and ---"
"How many creams and sugars?"
"Just put some in the bag on the side. I'd also like ---"
"How many in the bag on the side?"
"I don't care."
"Sir, I need to know, how many?"
"Can you take a handful and just put them in the bag?"
"I need a number sir."

"Four. Can I also get a number 5 with a medium coffee as well?"
"How many creams and sugars?"
"Aren't we already putting some in the bag?"
"Well that was for the other coffee."

Something that was once a mind numbingly simple process has turned into a complete pain in my ass.

Like I said, I don't even like cream or sugar in my coffee, but the thought of someone else's hands in my drink disturbs me. I know that someone has to make my food, but those people wear gloves.

The ladies at the window? they don't, and they are the money handlers. Money thats been in the hands and purses of countless people around this great nation. If you don't think that's gross, ladies just think about all the shit that has been spilled on your purse over the course of your life, and that's just a fraction of what is on your cash. All the crap that you've had in your pockets? Yeah, that's on there too.

My cousin once woke up with gravel in his pocket, but that's another story.

And this hasn't stopped at that fancy "Irish" restaurant with the golden arches either. Dunkin' Donuts is at it as well. Save the foo foo for the donuts kids, keep your hands out of my coffee.

The time has come for we as a people to get even. Put an end to this nonsense. Now when they ask me how many creams and sugars I want I say, "Sixteen." When I pull up to the window, they hand me my cup and I ask,

"Where's the bag with the cream & sugar?"
"Umm... I just put sixteen creams & sugars in that coffee."
"You'd better take that up with your friend in the square box back there, because I never asked for that in my coffee."

End the madness people. Write your congressman. Forget about the bridge that's going to fall in the Cuyahoga River downtown, we must keep people's dirty hands out of our drinks.

well isn't this introspective

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

from my post yesterday about the coffee shop, where i am again typing this from, i received a lot of pleasant comments telling me that they liked the style of writing i used for my people descriptions. thank you (!), but it got me thinking...

the majority of the things i post on my blog are written exactly how i would say them if we were sitting across the table from each other shooting the shit - only if i was in front of you it would be louder. luckily blogging comes fairly easy for me - i just write like i talk.

...sometimes i have a lot to say and sometimes i don't.

but i never considered myself to be a "writer" - i'm a blogger.

there's a difference right?
right?

i'm beginning to think there isn't.

if someone asked me a few months ago what it is that i do i would never think to say, "i'm an account manager at a marketing firm, i'm ridiculously good looking, i can cross one eye while moving the other one back and forth, i can bend like a pretzel, oh - and i'm a writer"


the last part would definitely be left out. (everything else i would say... obviously)

so to my blogger friends out there, would you consider yourself to be a writer? a straight blogger? a diarist? an observer? a comedian? or something else?

share with me, i need to figure out what to tell people at cocktail parties.



editors note: i am so excited and honored to be a finalist for the 20-something blogger awards. with all the bloggers that started in 2008 it is a huge deal to be nominated in the best up and coming category. AND the best title too! woo! i'm thinking we need to have an awards ceremony at the meet-up in chicago this summer - i mean, who doesn't enjoy a trophy?

tales from the coffee shop

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

with the internet at my apartment suddenly becoming non-existent i have been spending a lot of time at the phoenix coffee on w 6th, and i can't help but enjoy the surroundings.

and also judging observing the people around me.

on a recent sunday evening the hippie coffee shop in the yuppie neighborhood was full of a stereotypical mish mash of clevelanders.

- in front of me was the ADD male 25 year old striped button down male - the laptop was there but he sure wasn't using it. instead he was playing the imaginary drums on the table, looking around for the next cute girl to walk in ordering a non-fat vanilla latte. he was probably still coming down from the night before.

- a large round table was taken over by the overly educated affluent mid 30's married couple (large 3 carat rock on her finger for proof). two macbooks on the table, work blackberry and personal iphone, the new york times strewn over the plain dealer and a well worn kurt vonnegut book resting by a mug of dark roast.

- the table to my left was the most entertaining to observe. apparently there is a scrabble tournament in the upcoming weeks, because a couple of 20 somethings were role playing word situations over and over again. there were timers, rule books, dictionaries, and tournament schedules. these iced tea drinkers were spewing out words that i didn't even know existed. i feel bad saying this but these people were n-e-r-d-s. like awkward no social skills nerds. but hey, nerd love is still love - in the purest form.

- there's the cute newlywed couple reading cleveland magazine and drinking french press coffee and although they are sitting in separate chairs they are never not touching each other.

- a boy probably around my age who isn't drinking anything actually, just rockin' out with his ipod as if no one is watching. for whatever reason i imagine that he is listening to kelly clarkson's 'since you've been gone' or fergie's 'clumsy'. he's wearing a skull cap, sweatpants, flip flops (even though it is january), and i kind of want to asking him to blow this popsicle stand and walk across the street to maproom to watch football and drink beer. of course i don't.

- a business man who is in a full suit even though it's sunday evening, drinking coffee from a to-go cup even though it's obvious he isn't going anywhere.

- the frosted blonde in the "PINK" sweatpants and uggs drinking a mocha latte while constantly clicking away on her sidekick. she has that i'm too cool to be at a coffee shop air about her, but i bet she's a regular. sadly, she seems kind of lonely.

and then there is the blogger, slouching in her university of dayton hooded sweatshirt and birkenstock clogs that she has had since 1996. sipping on a dirty chai latte while wearing her glasses cause she accidentally slept in her contacts the night before. she is "working" but in all reality she is clearing out her google reader, updating her twitter feed and watching everyone around her.

probably watching you...

does anyone have a coffee shop like this around you, or am i the only lucky one? if so what's your role?

next time i'll stick with what i know

Sunday, January 4, 2009

after a rousing few days in canton over new years i headed back to cleveland go out with bird and lippe last night.

my BBM to bird discussing where to go consisted of this:

me: bird! let's go somewhere random that we never go to.
bird: um, that's going to be hard considering we are everywhere girls
me: touche

a few hours pass and when i got back to bird i had come up with the brilliant idea of going to the east side of cleveland. i have downtown and the near west side (OC and tremont) in my pocket but really only venture to the east side to shop at nordstrom's.

and to think i call myself a plum. pish posh.

i came up with bodega on coventry because it had just what we were looking for - martinis and tappas. i hadn't heard that many good things about this place but hey, we were trying to do something different right?

when we walked in at 8pm on a saturday night the place was empty - maybe 6 other people in the whole place. and all i could think about was how if bodega was located downtown or on the near west side it would have been full. although, when we left a little after ten it was starting to fill up.

we bellied up to the bar and waited a while to get noticed (not like they were busy or anything). oh sorry, the dude bartender was busy watching the titans/chargers game.

strike one.

the martini list was overwhelming but at least it was creative. after ms bartender pried herself away from wiping down glasses the order exchange went a little like this:

lippe: do you have effen vodka?
ms bartender: yes. er, no. um, i don't know. yeah, no.

so this is how it was going to go? strike two.

me: i'll have the zen ginger martini
ms bartender: ooooo. yeah. i'm out of the zen ginger vodka tonight.
me: alrighty then.

strike three.

finally we get our drinks (tasty and strong), and decide to order some food from the tappas menus.

bird: i'll have the braised short rib and the she crab bisque
ms bartender: [writing it down] ooooo. wait, yeah, we don't have the short rib tonight.
bird, lippe and i: [laughing] are you serious? [chuckle, chuckle]

strike four - you are definitely out. at this point we were surprised they had water to offer us.

all in all we order the crab bisque, the crab cakes, the blackened day boat scallops, lamb lollipops and the eggplant rollatini for the three of us - thankfully we were pleasantly surprised. the food (though luke warm) was actually really good. the flavors were thought out and the scallop with the mango jimica salsa was by far my favorite.

a strike was taken away with the food being enjoyable. another strike was taken away because of luca mundaca who was performing. her voice was the sweetest female voice i have heard in a long time and once she started singing it was the perfect accompaniment to dinner - it actually calmed us down. it was as if there was a studio cd playing instead of a live act. and i say that in the BEST way possible - her voice and songs were wonderful.

after the iffy bodega experience we headed back downtown and went to maproom (shocker), and after too many drinks and shots of patron xo we stopped at liquid and ultra where it was lame sauce but by then i was over it all and the only thing on my mind was a slice. good times.

side note: "hypothetically" speaking (wink wink). so if you were sitting at the bar with your purse on the stool next to you and someone placed a nice black (although cheap) scarf on the stool over your purse while your back was turned, what would you do. now it isn't your scarf - you had actually lost your black scarf the weekend before at sushi rock and needed a new one.

you ask everyone around you if it was their scarf, everyone answering no. you ask the bartender - it wasn't theirs either. you interrupt the couple making out a few seats down from you, it wasn't theirs either. it's now closing time and don't want to leave the scarf all alone, it obviously needed a new home...

would you have taken it? i mean hypothetically speaking, of course...


have a good first full work week of 2009, anything's possible. (vomit)

two reason's to celebrate

Thursday, January 1, 2009

first off - happy new year!! i have a feeling 2009 is going to be an amazing year.

second off -
it's my blogs birthday!! who would have thought that when i started my blog on new years day 2008 that the plum would still be around to see new year's day 2009.

it's been a nice little run for the cleveland's a plum blog:


301 posts
5,102 comments

404 followers on
twitter
250 wonderful blogs in my reader
37 bloggers that i can now call my real life friends

10 (at least) disagreements with my mom about the content on my blog

13
plumheads of the week
12
featured blogger friday's
77 bottles of wine consumed

and 528 instances of being truly awesome


this blog had a great year. it not only created and documented a lot of happy times and my love of cleveland for me but also solidified my passion for all types of social media and the power that we as social media mavens possess. it's freakishly cool and exciting to be a part of.

now i know this is supposed to be the time to make my list of 2009 resolutions, but as one of my very first readers (joy too!), other than my friends and family said in her post yesterday - i'm going to list out some goals.

goals just seem nicer than resolutions don't you think?

my 2009 goals


get on the howard stern show - whether it is a call in, an email of mine being read, or being in studio (dream) i need to make stern contact. the only reason for my sirius subscription is for howard stern, artie lange, robin quivers and fred norris. i guess you can say i'm a fan. oh wait, maybe i can get added to the whack pack cast member. 'alexa the blogger' has a nice ring to it. right?

stop freaking out over things that i can't control, cause that's just a waste of energy. 'jealously' i'm talking to you too.

get more involved in my community
- get on a board, an event committee or volunteer. i must give back.

although i do enjoy harmlessly judging people i need to give people the benefit of the doubt - i do practice this but i must maintain it, everyone had a reason for their actions no matter how funked up it is.

have this blog mentioned in cleveland magazine - i'm looking at you jim vickers! this was a goal i made for myself when i started this blog and i'm not giving it up just yet.

get published - i really want to work on my writing and have my full name attached to a piece of journalism would be absolutely amazing honor.

blah blah blah diet blah blah blah exercise yada yada yada be healthy yada yada think positive blah blah blah bor-ing.

and finally keep on being awesome (which shouldn't be too hard).

happy new year everyone, and thanks for reading!