electronic displays of affection

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

over the last couple of weeks something has been bothering me on twitter and facebook to the point of obsession.

it has gotten so bad that i email/call/text my friends to bitch about it.

and i need to stop, i'm better than this.

but it wasn't until my friend laura emailed me venting about the exact same thing and then actually putting a name to it that i knew i needed to blog about this newest bane of my existence.

it's officially called Electronic Displays of Affection or EDA as i'll be referring to it from here on out.

you ALL know exactly what i'm talking about.


you also ALL know of someone in your twitter or facebook feed that is guilty of too much EDA, i.e. a little too mushy gushy about their significant other.


that gushes about them -
repetitively.

"i love mr. X, he's so amazing and wonderful!"

"i can't wait till my hunny bunny comes homes home for some snuggles! wink. wink."

"pouty face. i don't get to see my sweets for five whole hours today. what am i going to do?!??!"


"look how handsome my man is today, and look, he brought me flowers!!!! SQUEEEEE!!!"

vomit.

raise your hand if you want to call bullshit on this crap.

over the top? i say yes.

awkward at times to read? i also say yes.

there's one thing i want to clarify though before you start to think i'm a jaded bitter old woman...

i'm a hopeless romantic, i would adore it if my yet-to-be-determined boyfriend sent me flowers, and want nothing more than to be oh so smitten that the thought of not seeing or hearing from my boyfriend for a significant period of time would
make me miss him all the more.

but you would never, EVER see me tweeting about it every ten minutes while simultaneously updating facebook about it as well.


i'm glad you're happy, really i am but let's chill on the EDA because to be quite frank, it's like you're trying too hard to affirm how wonderful everything is which in turn makes you sound fake.

next thing i know these serial EDAers are going to be twitpic-ing the following image saying, "omg i'm so glad my sexy stud muffin is home so i can tongue him, LOL ; )"

oy vey, classy.

end rant.

wow. i feel better now!

so hopefully you'll join my stop the EDA campaign because this is serious business people.

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63 comments:

  1. I definitely see this all the time and I agree it's super annoying! Some things I just don't care to know!

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  2. I know the feeling. I saw one that's even more vomit-inducing. "Babe, last night was amazing. My bed misses you already." Eewww. I don't need to know what happens in your bedroom!

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  3. Ugh, totally agree. I'm a total lovey but stop it people, use ur internal edit button already.

    -debby

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  4. I agree. I have several of those on my facebook, and I am SHOCKED whenever any of them update with something that ISN'T about their S.O. It drives me mental.

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  5. save that shit for gchat, yo.

    that's what we do ;-)

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  6. Must be an age thing. Most of my FB friends are old(er) and married and have kids. For me, the big pet peeve is certain people who post about the really mundane things their kids do. I don't give two shits that your kid doesn't want to nap, doesn't sleep through the night or is sick. Seriously. Cut that shit out.

    /rant. Thank you. I needed that.

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  7. Well now I want a girlfriend just so I can annoy you with such things.

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  8. I physically squirmed in my seat with that picture *shudder*!

    My 18 year old cousin does this - despite the fact that in the last 12 months she's has 3 "serious" boyfriends! There's photos of them kissing, cuddling, self-taken pics...vom! The worst thing? She's friends with both of her parents on Facebook!!

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  9. why do you have to go and out my comments about the BF?

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  10. It is even worse when men do it...how does it feel to have no balls buddy?

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  11. guilty secret:

    the really over the top ones- ie the ones you mentioned- are the "relationships" i love to watch fall apart. that drama on fb is just so much more entertaining.

    wups?


    im a horrible person, i know.

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  12. Uh I'm so with you on this. I can't stand reading other people's inappropriate schmoop on Twitter or FB. A friend of mine and her husband take it way too far on FB and constantly update their status' with how long it's been since they kissed. Even if its been only minutes. GROSS.

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  13. i couldn't agree more. i hate that shit!

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  14. I'm with you - I'm definitely a romantic, and I love the cute stuff, but I'd never put it as a status. I actually don't even blog about it. It's *my* business. And, well, his, but still. Not the interweb's.

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  15. I 100% agree. I know I update about the Lady Friend now and then but I try to make sure it is never sentimental shit.

    I'm kinky and all, but I don't need the entire Twittosphere to be part of my relationship.

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  16. *raises hand and jumps ecstatically around the room*

    Agreed. Although I am guilty of it sometimes, it's um, maybe once a month . . . not constant jibberish which just makes me want to run to the bathroom and stick my hand down my throat.

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  17. But, I wuv my pookie-ookums bunnyboo.

    *blink*

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  18. Dude, I just could not agree with this any more. I'll give you a free pass on anniversaries, but other than that, whatever googly bear did needs to be damn wonderful to merit tweeting.

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  19. I always think when I see these comments that in fact their significant other sucks and they are just trying to make everyone else think they don't. One of my friends does this all the time and I know her hubby is somewhat abusive. Also, I have divorced friends always talking about how fab their life is and all the "cool" stuff they are doing. Whatever.

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  20. {Right hand is raised.}

    Not to mention, you set yourself up for a ridiculously public break-up. Think of all the crap you have to delete after months of blowing up your relationship all across social-networking sites.

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  21. I like EDA. But i know what you mean, there are people who go on and on about it a little too much. I think its so their significant exes will see, and be jealous.

    I try to be mysterious when I talk about mine. lol

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  22. Well plum, I have a crush on you!

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  23. Oh my god, thank you for saying this. I almost want to EDA you for it! It is completely fake and very "LOOK AT ME, I'M HAPPY"-esque. I want to punch them all in the face for it and I'm all about the love, but people...keep it to yourself or send them a text or something. I'm in the campaign!

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  24. Hey, what can I say? Sometimes I do look that handsome. Shit gets noticed.

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  25. Ah, perfect. And frankly, if you can't come up with anything more exciting to talk about than your hunny bunny - at ALL TIMES - just stop talking. Period.

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  26. i. love. you.

    nice work. thanks for making my dream a reality.

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  27. The people who do this obviously have insecurity issues and want the whole world to think they've got it made. Sad.

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  28. Ugh, there is a person on fbook that talks about how much they love their husband ALL THE TIME...we already know this, you married him. I can't stand it.

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  29. Couldn't agree more - I try not to be mushy on FB for sure with my hubby.... I do have a friend that writes "love type letters" to her husband and publishes them on FB and he isn't even on FB - Gross!

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  30. That picture made me gag. Ew.

    I actually notice it a lot more on Facebook than twitter and yes, it annoys the living crap out me too. PDA or EDA or what have you, all gag worthy and too much of it needs to be kept private.

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  31. I agree...enough said! Although I want this anonymous person to ask you out! Although Im not sure after a previous comment about being intimidated by you that he has the nerve. I think you should encourage the poor fellow :)

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  32. My best friend from high school is like this. I'm so happy that she's found someone, but seriously -- ENOUGH with the "I miss my babyyyy"!

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  33. I agree! And it's not because I'm jaded either. The people that usually do this are the people then that also are like "I'm with Mr Perfect!!" and then like a month or so later, they are on there complaining what a dbag he is. It drives my crazy!! We're adults people. ADULTS! Leave that stuff for your close friends, not the entire world. Thank you.

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  34. Count me in. I follow a couple blogs that are great except for some moments of completely ridiculous EDA. When I feel like venting about it, I check out yourstatusisannoying.com, where they give FB updates like that the ridicule they deserve.

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  35. I'm convinced people like that are the kind of people that feel the need to have to prove to the world they have someone. News flash: the world doesn't care.

    I would be embarrassed if someone was tweeting or FB that kind of stuff about me. That stuff is for private time.

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  36. You should check out stfumarrieds.tumblr.com --- some are drama, some are those annoyingly ridiculous EDAs. I love it.

    There's also stfuparents.tumblr.com if you loathe annoying parents like I do :)

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  37. Well, done.

    You were way more kind than I would have been...

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  38. I hate this crap more than I can even explain. Usually I deal with it like this:

    Step 1: Puke.
    Step 2: Roll my eyes.
    Step 3: Thank the holy orange in the sky that I'm not so insecure about my relationship (if I were in one) that I need to do this sort of shit.
    Step 4: Feel superior.
    Step 5: Have some wine.

    Give it a try. It really works. Especially the wine and superiority.

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  39. Yes, I'm so glad I am not the only one out there that is totally over this crap. I mean, I really don't need to see people's profile pictures of them and their loved one mid-makeout session. Really, I don't care if you are just hooking up or actually like each other.

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  40. I HATE it.

    There's a girl in my work who got together with a guy in my work. If she updates her facebook status, it's to say how much she loves him. It was her birthday last week and every person who left a happy birthday message on her wall got a comment underneath saying how much she loved her man, how much he had spoiled her, blah blah blah. Pretty much a variation on that . . . TO EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE! Most people hadn't even ASKED about him.

    PLUS, she signed all her Christmas cards to people in the office from her and him. I know that's not an electronic display of affection, but when you've been going out less than a year at the time, it seems like a bit of a no no...

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  41. OK, I'm pretty much annoyed as well but I have to admit a good part of my annoyance is from being single. I haven't been one to do such things when I was with someone but it didn't bother me much on those rare occasions. These days I take it like a slap in the face - a taunt if you will... Look I have someone and you are alone HAHAHAHA!!!!

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  43. Alexa,
    EDA bothers me to no end! I think it's especially weird when a guy does it.. and it is way worse if they use an emoticon! I totally agree that it makes people and their relationships seem really fake. I'm glad that someone finally called all those guilty of EDA out!

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  44. EDA, huh? I like it. I can see how annoying that would be, and I wonder if I even notice it (not me doing it, but others...). Hm. Now I'll surely be paying more attention.

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  45. EDAers and sexting and the whole ordeal--I am with you and that picture is just l o v e l y except NOT. I am a new follower and I hope you will come follow me back. I promise no EDA...

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  46. Thank you for killing any appetite I may have had for the night.

    I had actually never noticed this, if only because I'm picky about my Twitter follows and I don't have Fbook. Considering how much I despise real life gushing, I can imagine that EDA would drive me up the wall as well.

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  47. Thank you THANK YOU for this post. I have one friend who does this about her husband. I learned from her sister-in-law that she does do it to rub it in the nose of her ex-husband and friends.

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  48. i am right there with you. although yes sometimes i tweet or facebook about matt, in no way am i obsessive about it, it's a little extreme sometimes and as you said, quite awkward to read.

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  49. LOL so true!

    Is it terrible if I want to add people who are always talking about their kids to the list as well?

    Because - 9 times out of 10 - I don't care what "cute little gavin" did this morning while you were feeding him...
    :P

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  50. I'm totally raising my hand, here.

    The EDA annoys me, but I'd add the constant baby updates (no idea what acronym we should give that) to the list.

    I love my friends and I love their babies, but I don't need to know about how much they can hold their head up!

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  51. You know, when significant others talk to each other in this way on places like Facebook, it makes you wonder how often they talk to each other in person. Think about it...

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  52. count me in.

    i know people we aaaalllll follow who are notorious for this. and it makes me want to barf and choke on my own vomit.

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  53. I would like to extend your post to include people to ramble non-stop about their dog, cat, kid, or anyone else that no one besides them cares about.

    Another thing that annoys me: tweets that refer to a significant other as as "the boy" or "the girl". Come one, we're not children anymore.

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  54. ha! eda! so you mean i should change my gchat status from "missing my wubby lubby bear, can't wait to see him the second he gets off work tonight! my life is so empty when i can't hold his hand! lolzz!!" ? :-)

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  55. I could not agree more! I love this!

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  56. first, i am also a cleveland blogger, well, to be honest, south of cleveland blogger, i live in m-town... which would prob be a nectarine

    continuing - i also hate love. when i read profiles I AM MARRIED TO MY BEST FRIEND AND SOUL MATE

    i want to stab myself in the eye with scissors

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  57. This. Is my favorite thing.

    EVARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

    It's bad on Twitter, but worse on Facebook, because inevitably their picture is one of the two of them gazing at each other.

    VOM CITY.

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  58. I'm so with you! I couldn't have said any of that better myself!

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  59. You know? This was sort of bothering me as well but I couldn't really put my finger on it but now there is a TERM and EVERYTHING and oh my God make it stop.

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  60. I'm faced with that every where I go on FB and Twitter (luckily on a handful of people), it's quite gross and pointless. I don't think I'll ever understand why couple send each other gooey messages (some are even sitting in the same room!)... why don't they ring each other, talk to each other face to face (which me and my bf do) or send a private message (as private life is private!).

    I've been told that people (which are mainly women) who do EDA and gooey messages like, "My handsome [name] is an angel..." are making competition for status to make them feel better against other women they know, OR trying to convince themselves that their relationship is perfect... as if seeing their relationship through rose tinted glasses... but we don't know the truth that goes behind closed doors... and to be quite frank, I don't think any of us want to know.

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