once upon a time there was a little girl named alexa.
she was a happy child, with a loving family and not a care in the world.
her biggest concern was which toy to play with and when her mother was going to give her more cheerios - life was good.
here's a smiley little alexa on her 1st birthday, circa 1981, with her handsome father and beautiful mother.
life continued for alexa, she was walking, talking, and eventually started preschool where she enjoyed making friends and being social - quite the prequel to her adult life.
she was the apple of her parents eyes, so smart, so kind, yet simultaneously starting to be a little mischievous, i.e. sneak attack kissing boys in school and stealing all the black crayons.
life continued for alexa, she started reading, writing and she even got her first singing solo in her 1st grade holiday program. she enjoyed writing her name over and over again on the chalkboard and playing on the tire swing in her elementary school playground.
now while she may not have been the apple of her parents eyes anymore because her brown-nosing little sissy arrived, she didn't mind because she was busy TCOB.
ya know, taking care of business.
you see, very early on in little alexa's life, around the age of 6, something changed in her. she no longer wanted to be the perfect over achieving daughter - she was done with it.
it was way more fun to be bad, more fun to do what she wanted - she could laugh in the face of danger all while wearing white tights, a plaid dress and a massive bow on the side of her head.
sesame street her ass, she was busy belting out whitney houston's greatest love of all on stage at augustino's restaurant in canton.
all while accepting cash tips.
looking back on it all her mother actually found the precise moment where the transition from good to slightly rotten occurred.
everything is all fine and dandy in the above picture, but then - SNAP!
and that ladies and gentleman, is the first known sighting of the plum that you have grown to know and love.
i heard she never looked back...