When I started blogging in '08 I would consistently tell funny self deprecating stories from my past to allow my readers to get a feel for who I was.
- When I may or may not have implied to Billy Joel, THE Billy Joel, that he had a small penis.
- When Lebron James smacked my bum.
- When getting my period for the first time as a 12-year-old on vacation in Hawaii my mom told me I couldn't go into the ocean because the sharks would find me.
- When I catch a masturbater on the corner of West 9th and St Clair.
- I could go on and on and on...
Then I looked in the mirror and said, "You're Cleveland's a Plum dammit, you're a walking funny story!"
(I really didn't do that, I promise)
Then in a flash I remembered that one time a bird shit on my hand while I was riding my bike in high school back in Canton, Ohio.
OMG, SO SO SO SO FUNNY!!
Sigh, no it's not. Maybe I have told all my stories.
So, what's next?
Perhaps I can learn how to juggle.