WARNING: You will find an atypical plum post below.
My engagement to CK is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life but instead I'm in a mourning period.
I'm mourning the wedding that I thought I'd always have with the realization that it's not going to happen.
I'm mourning the fact that I'm going to have to sell my perfect townhouse and move to an area of Northeast Ohio that I have no desire to live in. Away from my friends, my life and the city that I've lived in for the last 8 years and honestly, I'm kinda pissed about it.
Which makes me scared, scared that I'm not going to be happy, scared that I'm going to be resentful of decisions that were made without my say.
You see, I'm working on accepting that my wedding isn't going to be big, fat and Greek filled with unlimited friends and family.
I'm working on accepting that I'm not going to live in my 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th.... neighborhood of choice.
I'm working on it... AND my control issues, can't you tell?
There's one thing I'm not scared of though, my relationship with CK - it's strong, we love each other and this is forever. I'm just being open about my process of being stressed the heck out so that if you see me and I bite your head off you know why.
Happy Thursday, kids, IT'S ALL GOING TO BE OK.