Comments on cleveland's a plum: keep waiting or start moving?

Let's see. In my single, bar-hopping days, I w...

2009-11-30T13:38:29.970-05:00

Let's see. In my single, bar-hopping days, I was the girl who went up to boys on behalf of my friends who thought they were cute. I had no problem initiating conversation.

In my online dating days, I'd contact a guy if I thought he might be a good fit.

And when I met Sweets? He had looked at my profile, but hadn't contacted me. I thought he was cute, so I sent him an email wishing him luck with his search. You know how that story ends.

To summarize, hell yes, the girl should ask. She just might find what she's looking for!

I've tried it and it's never worked out we...

2009-11-30T13:19:36.568-05:00

I've tried it and it's never worked out well. Let me know if you have better luck!

I think it's totally OK or the woman to do the...

2009-11-29T16:07:22.477-05:00

I think it's totally OK or the woman to do the asking. I tend not to ask unless I REALLY think he's likely to say yes, but I think it's fine regardless. You'll never know until you ask!

Definitely! Back when I was single I used to ask ...

2009-11-28T19:47:28.794-05:00

Definitely! Back when I was single I used to ask dudes out whenever the fancy struck me- why not, you know?

I haven't done it often, but I think it's ...

2009-11-26T15:38:32.696-05:00

I haven't done it often, but I think it's OK. I asked my guy out in the lamest way -- slipping him a handwritten invitation for coffee, complete with YES, NO, MAYBE boxes. It worked. I would have never done it if I had no clue he was interested. We both flirted for weeks before.

Go for it girlie! Just don't grab your crotch and chug a beer while asking the guy. :-)

I say yes, it is okay for a girl to ask a guy out....

2009-11-26T10:11:55.633-05:00

I say yes, it is okay for a girl to ask a guy out. But would I do it?

That's a completely a different story. I'm a little old fashioned I guess.

I don't mind asking the guys out (depending on...

2009-11-25T21:16:32.086-05:00

I don't mind asking the guys out (depending on the situation) but I am pretty old fashioned. But I'm at the point in my life where I don't want to wait :)

It really all depends on the guy. If he's sup...

2009-11-25T21:04:03.616-05:00

It really all depends on the guy. If he's super shy but somehow, you know that he's into you, then I don't see the problem with it.

HOWEVER, if he's one of those guys who are super confident, knows it, and has a ton of other girls throwing their man-pleasers at him, then don't even think about making the first move, because those are the kinds of guys who "love the chase." You can ask him out, and he'll be flattered, but I can guarantee that he'll lose interest fast because "winning you" was way too easy for him.

I've asked one guy out before and apparently m...

2009-11-25T20:55:26.691-05:00

I've asked one guy out before and apparently my face was so red when I did it. LOL

I've asked guys out before. But I've found...

2009-11-25T16:06:06.898-05:00

I've asked guys out before. But I've found it works best when you ask them to go to something like a movie or sports event or even to grab a drink someplace.

playing aloof and hard to get is so old school.......

2009-11-25T12:13:33.980-05:00

playing aloof and hard to get is so old school......in today's world the boy will just think you are a lesbo and look the other way...lol

DO IT!

2009-11-25T07:54:25.653-05:00

DO IT!

julesercise - i'm going to listen to you, caus...

2009-11-25T00:34:29.353-05:00

julesercise - i'm going to listen to you, cause you got a catch!

ashley - i want a guy that's in control of himself and can ask me out. call me greedy.

matt - so i need to play hard to get, i.e. not ask him out? i must further discuss this with you on gchat now.

shortchick - UGH! we are so in the same situation we need a support group or something to help us through.

jenn - i'm pretty sure that in our case "intimidating" definitely means "smart, pretty and awesome"

angela - if only men had esp - oh wait, that might not alllllllllways be ideal. ha.

lacochran - good call lady

p - i've always been too shy, always - hence being 29 and never asked a guy out...

leah - i wish i could just snap some men out of it. sigh.

ashley - you also give me hope. you and all your wonderful BF's - it doesn't hurt that you're awesome!

AAB - you know EXACTLY who it is that i have in mind. also, i think we should both try the no bberry one night and see what happens. it's going to be hard though!

marie - i like to think that i don't complicate things, but who knows. and you're right, asking just clears things up so i can move on to the next one...

SO@24 - i miss you and your blog! also, thanks for the vote of confidence women who know what they want ARE hot.

sissy - oh mommy, what are we going to do with her. as for that sweet pick up line? let's test it out this weekend.

ms. salti - i've been thinking about this situation for months so i hope now that i talked about it on my blog i'm in it to win it.

andrea - haha. good point - we may as well take control with those types of guys right?

ammo - how wise you are for your 22 year old self....

2009-11-25T00:32:27.471-05:00

ammo - how wise you are for your 22 year old self. and i would never budge on the proposing thing, the man MUST handle that part of the relationship, obvy.

julianna - yeah see that's the thing, i don't know if i'm gutsy enough to ask someone out and if i had my choice would prefer to have the man do it, but i think that's all changing now...

joe - yeah i have no problem talking to the man, at all. but there's only so much i can do.

maliningrl - your dad is a smart man

steve - thanks for your detailed response, seriously! you see i have the similar culture thing too with the greeks, i mean my great aunt had an arranged marriage when she was 16 - we're talking old school here.

miss chief - is it possible to be old fashioned AND a little afraid? cause i think that's the situation for me.

adam - your comment made me laugh out loud. i'm thirsty!

ben - oh benny, coming from a gay man that comment works.

kim - UGH. if i had a dollar for every "let's grab drinks" situation that turned into me giving off the friends vibe i'd be rich.

teen - color coded excel spreadsheet?!?! um, talk about pressure!!!!!

just a girl - thanks, and i agree completely.

lemmonex - i like the title of modern woman. (hear me roar)

maiden - i like the end part of your comment the best cause you're right, i might as well just get it over with and find out if he's interested or not so i can spend my time focused on someone else.

mandy - she is a smart woman isn't she?

lilu - i hope i can tell...

peter - but i like it when you quote poetry to me.

ALL - i think i like your comment/pep talk the best. snaps.

the MG - yeah i think the whole aloof thing is the #1 thing that needs to go away, STAT.

rachel - i think you're right here, like i can throw out a HUGE piece of bait and if he still doesn't bite - move the F on.

liebchen - my preference too, too bad it's not working. ha.

narm - but what if i've already been in his pants? JK!

arielle - i've always said the same thing, i'm sadly pretty sure that i am the wuss...

fizzgig - i ALSO love your comment cause you are so spot on. don't freak about texting according to "the rules" text/contact cause YOU want to. hell, he may get more excited than you could ever expect just to get that simple text.

mel - you are right, it's TOTALLY not me. i need to step the heck up.

all-time quarterback - thanks for the comment, it was really helpful and actually exactly what i needed to hear.

mooooooooooog - i'd never slap you. throw a drink on you MAYBE ; )

sarah - you asking aaron out gives me courage, obvy.

heisschic - gah, if i could take back an alcohol soak situation or 136 i would be the happiest girl alive.

wonderful - yeah, that's be me, until MAYBE now.

allison - to answer your questions: 1. yes, VERY. 2. yesterday. i better get moving.

I tend to fall for guys who are the sweet, shy typ...

2009-11-25T00:10:54.608-05:00

I tend to fall for guys who are the sweet, shy type. If I didn't do the asking, we'd never end up anywhere.

It seems like whenever I've done the asking, i...

2009-11-24T22:46:57.663-05:00

It seems like whenever I've done the asking, it doesn't turn out. Obviously cuz I'm still single. Not that I ever get asked out anyway, but whatever. Some days I'm old fahioned, others I'm not... just depends on my mood!

well Sissy, my opinion is you should totally go f...

2009-11-24T18:28:09.386-05:00

well Sissy, my opinion is you should totally go for it.. what exactly do you have to lose?! (i'm sitting next to mom as i write this and she's correcting my punctuation! AHH!)

I also have a new pick up line for you.. you go up to the guy and say "Hi! excuse me, I'm Alexa, What pick up line would work best on you?

and sold...

How is this still a debate? I would love it if a ...

2009-11-24T17:17:51.388-05:00

How is this still a debate?

I would love it if a girl asked me out.

We aren't in the days of riding buggies and wearing corsets.

A girl who goes after what she wants is hot

If you like what you see, ask him out. Simple as t...

2009-11-24T17:16:11.792-05:00

If you like what you see, ask him out. Simple as that. And if he no likey, move on to the next guy because the one who said "no" is not worth your time.

P.S. We ladies love to complicate things. Boys are really not so complex.

P.P.S. I gave Matt my number without him asking (however I wanted to make sure he made it home ok but he thinks I was flirting. Whatever, things worked out).

Do you have a specific boy in mind?!? Hmmmm... A...

2009-11-24T16:54:16.388-05:00

Do you have a specific boy in mind?!? Hmmmm...

Anyhow, it's totes legit to ask a boy to do something.

Here is a test I think you should try, howevs... go out on a man hunt and leave your bberry in your purse. I don't think you're intimidating per se, but when you're not looking around flashing your gorge smile and batting your pretty little eyes, maybe boys think you're not interested.

P.S. consider me a wingwoman for this adventure...

Hell-freakin-yeah! It's more than okay. In fac...

2009-11-24T16:47:26.106-05:00

Hell-freakin-yeah! It's more than okay. In fact, I actually was the one who asked my now boyfriend who I was interested in to go to an out of town event with me for a weekend - just the two of us.

He jumped at the opportunity and we came back from that trip a super cute couple, if I do say so myself.

GO FOR IT!

It's nice to be pursued, but sometimes guys ju...

2009-11-24T16:41:29.183-05:00

It's nice to be pursued, but sometimes guys just can't take a hint and may not realize that you even like them. In those cases, I say go for it, otherwise you could be missing out on something great.

I don't think there's anything wrong with ...

2009-11-24T15:33:12.981-05:00

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But I probably wouldn't do it myself, mainly because I'm too shy about that sort of thing.

Never say never though...

The men I know would LOVE to be asked out by women...

2009-11-24T14:56:20.659-05:00

The men I know would LOVE to be asked out by women. LOVE it. So, yes, it's okay.

I definitely think it's okay for a girl to ask...

2009-11-24T14:28:46.009-05:00

I definitely think it's okay for a girl to ask out a guy! I don't think it should be all the time, for the most part I think the guy should do the asking, too. I think sometimes the girl needs to express her interest, because guys can't read our minds.